Judge — July 6, 1889 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

— JUDGE PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. +, W. J. ARKELL Beexnaro Giitast - -M, Publisher rt Department =~ Rabcor : TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNETRD STATES AND CANADA, IN ADVANCE, One copy, one year, or s2 numbers - Single copies, to cents each. TIONS—To all for- eign coi the postal union, ‘year. Tue JupDGe PuBLIsHING CoMPANY (Jupcr Buitpis Cor. Fifth Ave. and 16th St, New York. E9I- We guarantee advertisers @ larger circulation at cheaper rates than any other American satirical paper publithed. The Juocn t2 for sale at Brentan a Strand, Londo Avenue de COpera, Paris, and at Brentane's, HE FAILUR. outrage. eee BROTHE R WHITNE surreptitiously. ee P* RADOX—Grover Cleveland is not in the field, but he says that what he wants is simply not to be kicked out of it. FEW DAYS ago the land we loved was Race- land. gee THE ONLY WAY to re- form is to prevent re- form.—D. 2B. Hill. NO MAN can serve two ters —for instance, the law and the malefactor— no man, of course, with the exception of Colonel Fellows. HEN YOU FIND a man who hates news- papers you want to forgive him, because his conduct has made it necessary for the newspapers to hate him. ELLOW JACK has no business in this climate, and when he puts on his col- ors to make an exhibition among us every feather in his cap is promptly plucked. . D8. BEN. HARRISON, the JUDGE salutes you. It is well to be doctor of laws and divinity, but what a big thing it is to be U.S.D., or doctor of the United States. i ware Cassipy — ick, an’ Mishter Hockheimer ? = THINGS are sad, but inevitable. Nobody is surprised that Rose Coghlan has put out her thorns and Fanny Davenported. EN YEARS in prison conferred upon Parson Howard, the electrical sugarer, is just the kind of sugar to sweeten that kind of rascal with, INISTER REID recently dined at the top of the Eiffel tower, and frequently shed tears for the 7r#dune and the Washington monument. in the Irish jails are not permitted a scrap of information, and all newspapers are denied them, That is bad for them; but what a humiliating confession of weakness it is on the part of the government. MB. EVARTS is lean but healthy, and he attributes his appetite and health to a lack of physical exercise. Very likely he is right. If he were to take part in a go-as-you-please you couldn't find him with a magnifier. mats THE MURDERER of Captain Daw elected surgeon of the local a murderers speak right out. to get their reward, n of Charleston, S. C., has been llery company. Let the other southem They have only to make their names known EGORY + $4.00 ‘One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - "2.00 ‘One copy, for 13 weeks = += too 2 to hang the murderer of Cronin will be the Cronin is abroad to enjoy himself and do his thinking INJURED SENSIBILITIES. You're lookin’ bad, Jamesey.’ i'm feelin’ worse, Terry. aroun’ the carner thot Cohen he says, says he, “How are yez, "THE VOICE of every actress—Marriage is not a failure, because it is the only known beginning of the means to divorce. W'!TH GROVER at the head of the national ticket and Calvin S. Brice at the head of the national committee how history would repeat itself! see R. DANA kills Mr. Cleveland every other day, and seems to like it: but as Mr. Cleveland says he has been irrevocably dead since last March the butchery would seem to be superfluous, and the corpse is com- fortable. ara THE QUARREL between Cleveland and Hill is done with great ability by the followers of both; but when the principals enter into the con- test their effort is begun and ended with the bloody falsehood that there is no such thing. eae T LONG BRANCH, according to a witness in a divorce case, only man and wife link arms Perhaps, judging from the case in question, it would be advisable for the lovers to link arms and the man and wife to go it separatel TIS A SW THOUGHT that the men in the penitentiaries celebrate on the fourth the same as we do. It confuses one to a slight extent to hear convicts sing their independence, but the music is always joyous and interesting. in walking. N° BODY CAN TELL who will succeed our William in the United States senate; but the lucky man will be twice lucky if he can succeed, himself, as well as William has. That toa very able man; and the choir will please sing that good old Evarts, of thee.” soe DOES ANYBODY happen to know what good has been bought with the money contributed to the Irish cause during all these years? Has it relieved famine? Has it made torpedo- boats? Has it whipped Canada? Has it done anything more than e: plode speeches and dynamite? eee THos r PLE who make their money here to spend it abroad are exer- cising the right of selection that belongs to everybody under a democratic govern- ment; but those men who make their money abroad to come here and buy up lands which belong to citizens are purely mercenary and ought to have a bit in the teeth of their enterprise. THE BIRD IS IN GOOD HEALTH. N ORATION by . Blaine on this fourth would be the splen- didest thing the country has heard; but we imagine that James will speak later on in the year, when the representatives of the peoples of the continent meet at Washington to consider the means to mutual protection and development. Meanwhile the local orators cannot say too much, provided, of course, they talk sensibly and are modest enough to let the bird of freedom flap his own wings and do his own screaming. A_grane-hor-rn in th’ ditch hit me wid his THE TEETOTAL INEBRIATE THE PROHIBITION PRESS lays the burial of prohibition in Penn- ylvania to the Republican party. ‘That is to say, as the Vorce puts it, “the leading Republican state gives a stronger rum majority than the leading Democratic state,” meaning Texas. Of course, everybody knows that the verdict in Pennsylvania, as in Rhode Island, which has voted to repeal its prohibition, is a victory for temperance in thought, idea, and bibulosity, and a vote for the labor interest as well; but some of these prohibitionists mean, because thereof, revenge on their best friends, which is the meanest and most contemptible of all intemperance. Ah, well; except as a study of the possibilities of unconfined crankism, it is a matter of no consequence. The ballots show that. comicbooks.com