Judge — June 22, 1889 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. Publither . . W. J. Anxeu cooot papene pies tor p, aera romain tes One copy, for 1y weeks = = = too "le copies, 10 cents each. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS To all for- ign countries in the postal union, $5 a years THe JuDoe PUBLISHING COMPANY (Jubée BurLpixa), Cor. Fifth Ave. and 16th St, New York. CFT We guarantee advertisers a larger cireulatie American satirical paper poblishe. The j fob tate dt bine ap Strand, at cheaper rates than any othev 17 Avenue de COpera, Paris, and at Brentano's, ‘A TOAST that will never grow old—To Mrs, Ogle, the angel of the telegraph. eee ISHING is very exhaustive; otherwise the fish story would be larger and more athletic than it is now, eee DENT could ive everybody an office everybody would the wisdom and justice of his appointments. PF THE PRE: praise effusivel eee BOULANG! 2R—Strayed or stolen? eee MB. PATRICK EGAN is perhaps a good man, but he is likely to have a very Chili recept eee R. NYE. got frightened and that was of it, Mis hair itd bald in a single night. eee YSTONE and the arch are left.and neither fi can prevail against th AD FA of the contributions to Johnstown were known to everybody but the recipients. eee ET US HOPE that no more men will be shot in the Cambria valley; but we have always thought that loading with blank cartridges was foolishness. eee MB: HALSTEAD went to Europe for his health, and finds himself obliged to come right back to get some more of it. oars PEACE COMES of firmness, patriotism, and self-respect, and Mr, Blaine is the safest secretary of state the national cabinet ever had. eee NOTHING can cure a communist but the possession of money, but he is too lazy to carn it and it’s troublesome and dangerous to steal it. eee ‘THE THIEVES of Cambria ought to have should ha at the end of it, nor flood \ an arch to their memory. It two uprights, a cross-piece, and a drop-rope with a loop see A YOUNG WOMAN going to a singing-school out west was chased by abear, and she wept so copiously over her escape that the hugging had to be done by a great, big, splendid man, . eee A FLOWER of the many flowers with which Mr, Cleveland was pelted * had a thorn in it.“ Really,” he said, touching the thorn gently with his thumb, “I forgot to mention my friend Governor Hill.” eee T 1S earnestly to be hoped that England will not refuse justice to Ire- land because of the murder of Dr. Cronin, Fair play is a jewel of many carats, and we dare say Ireland would not refuse justice to England because of the Whitechapel atrocities, T done missed hi ‘o's gittin’ mo’ nigh-sighted an’ nigh.sighted eb'ry day, K'lindy. swatted at ; hit wuz a sparrer,”" HE QUESTION of the outings is equaled in magnitude just now only by the question of the innings. USSIA is said to have but one surgeon to every 100,000 inhabitants. Over there they do not need surgeons so much as they need armies and executioners. JUBAL’S TROUBLE. JUBAL EARLY says he will be a rebel to the latest day of his life, and tries to belittle Sheridan. Ab, well; if Sheridan had belittled us as much as he did Early we should probably feel much as Early does, When the latter was sent “on the jump” down the Shenandoah valle} Prentice of the Courder-Journal said, “The day of Jubal E, has come.” It seems to have been postponed ; but in some of the centuries hence the little man may kindly consent to clasp hands with the boys who whipped him, for really one man cannot be permitted to disturb the unities of the universe. MARCHING BACKWARD. HERE 1S NO perfection here, in making laws or anything else. It is possible to improve certain political and bibulous conditions, however —or, rather, it used to be possible. Under the administration of D. B. Hill there is no choice between perfection and its opposite, and the old state of politics and indulgence is held to be better than any improve- ment. And when David goes to heaven he will want to veto such of the jasper col- umns as have been newly constructed, though thereby he let down the ceiling and reduce things to their old state of chaos and a vast but extremely ancient and vacu- ous uncertaint IRELAND IN AMERICA HE New York MWorld has gathered some interest- ing and startling statistic on alien investments in the United States. Foreign cap- italists find that the purchase of vast tracts of land for cat- tle-ranges, tenant-farming, or for the advance of values, following adjacent _settle- ment, and the increment that comes of new railroads, is more promptly _ profitable than any other. The bonds of European governments, while paying low rates of interest, are also menaced in value and more or less threatened as to their very existence by national jealousies and greed and the subdued subterranean mutterings of social discontent, ‘The burdens of military and naval arr Europe is mortgaged for nearly half it is worth to intain armed camps. As one government adds to its standing army its rival and neighbor also increases its force. The muscle and manhood of the great empires and the French republic are conscripted to idleness or drill, and emaciated, long-patient labor toils to arm, shelter, sustain, and clothe the great human machines watching and waiting for mutual destruc- tion. Capital is wary and cunning. Its timidity sees a prestige of storm in every rising cloud, and crawls to safety, or hides as far as possible from harm. The United States is for investment the best safe depository in the world. Its permanence as a government was assured by the success of the war of the rebellion. Its phenomenal growth of population and re- sources, its wide range of climate, its northern fields feeding millions, and its southern ones growing their clothing, are added to its fabulous mineral wealth, giving mountains of every metal where the old world offers only » this land of promise and profit transatlantic eyes are turned, ‘The samples of “prospecting” grapes exhibited by the returning Joshuas whetted the appetites for poss sts have for this republic material greatness, and their love is the love of the leech. Foreign capitalists, heretofore investing almost wholly in railroad or quick convertible stocks and bonds, are now absorbing breweri ion of the vines, ‘The respect European a respect for its unembarrassed and comicbooks.com