Judge — June 8, 1889 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE Bry the KH. KH. S. (Londres Perfect?) A Gentfemar's Cigar. $7.50 pez 100. Ruy direct from the manufacturer. Sample Gox of 25 sent prepaid for $2.00. SACKER & WHITCOMB, 33 Central St, Boston, Mass, For Sale by SCENTS Corliss Bros, & Co.,Troy, N.Y. in handsome boxes. All Strictly Rzcd ,,, TOP ROYAL, All Mens’ Furnishers. New York: 76 Franklin St. Chicago: 247.4249 Monroe St. Beta taighle for presenta." Try itonce:” Address G. The Popular Collar. Send $1.25, $2.10 or $320 for a retail bor, by expres. ‘prepaid west of New York and east of benver.of the best Candies in the rid, put uy GUNTHEU, Contectioner, #12 State St.Chicage 35c. @ BASE BALL CURVER, ih r= Corver™ ed Jom nn pk Siena oo Fine ate rans rts al ca ree he ben The “Certer Gees Each. igrestr aati than fost by hank snd rosie Sorater corre Worsannstae wor. hang ant anata, 3 wea ‘Aaron, M. B, KING, 63 Bead Btewet, CLEVELAND, O10, KNOX’ WORLD-BENOWNED HATS. ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. Iton st.: 194 5th ave tuner Fifth AV Brooklyn, and 191 & 193 State Agents for the sale of these high lass Hats cant be found in every city in the United States. KNEE-BULCED, Bagey, Wrinklod, festored abd neptis| ‘our perfect Trouser RE-SHAPER. Seat preseld ter Sok Gf Whee pay te oad wen, local Cenraner aod Agrace:“eanted NO W's Neme thie rarer TROUSER RE-SHAFEN CO. COLUMBUS, 0. os ‘ee, Illustrated Circular of “LATEST STYLES, containing description of same, directions “How to Order,” prices, etc., sent on application. M TSCENSCHEDDS, Celebrated “ New York" Hats. Salesrooms: 118 Naseau Street, 118, New York Do you know of anything that embodies more truth than may be found in the following lines : Man's ingress in life is naked and bare, Ilis progress, trouble and care, His egress none can tell where Lut iC he is a good fellow here He will be a good fellow there. A THRILLING SOCIAL EPISODE. ‘There was a young lady named Moll Who purchased a new parasol With a handle so long ‘That she had to be strong Or she couldn’t have lugged it at all, She met a young man who, Was struggling with might and with main ‘To steady his gait ‘Neath the terrible weight Of his dreadfully cumbersome cane. “twas plain, So intent was the beautiful Moll On lugging her long parasol That she passed the young swain With the cumbersome cane And never once saw him at all. What 1 narrow escape for that swain! Had she recognized him he would f Have lifted his hat, Brut how could he do tha And carry his cumbersome —Washington Post, } dered, but she was good and temperate. THE ARIZONA KICKER. Some Valuable Suggestions and Reflections. We extract the following from the last issue of the | Arizona Kicker: A REMEDY.—We would suggest to the postmaster- general that he drop a line to the postmaster of this town reading: “* Maj. Bint. Perkins—Sir; Either attend to your biz or git, and I'd a little rather you'd git. So would the people of your town. Yours truly, and don’t be over a week making up your mind what course to take.” Too previous.—Ever since Harrison's election Col. Hank Taylor, of this town, has been sweating the color out of his blue suspenders in running after office. The office he wanted was boss of the custom-house, and he has been figuring that if he got it he would raise aspar- agus in his front yard, horse-radish in the back, and put on all the style they do in Chicago. It was only yester- day that he suddenly became aware of the fact that we have no custom-house here for him to boss. _ What he had always supposed was a government institution of the kind turned out to be Desnoyer’s storage-house for bones. Col. Hank has our sympathy in this his hour of deepest trial, but that’s the best we can do, We are in no situation to either lend him a shirt or trust him for groceries. It MADE Us SAD.—Mrs, Judge Shiver passed the Kicker office at 11 o'clock ‘Tuesday night in a state of happy inebriation, being on her way home from a high lager beer given by Mrs. Prof, Westonhouse at her ele: gant mansion on Iironco Place. Mrs, Judge was drag- ging her new bonnet along the ground by the starboard and softly singing about pansy blossoms. We were sitting on the front steps in the gentle moonlight, think- ing of the past and gone. and the event saddened us more than we can express. We had a mother once. She was not beautiful, and splitting wood while our dear father talked politics at the grocery made her lop-shoul- Suppose gshe had been in the habit of getting slewed? Where would we have been to-day? Instead. of being at the head of a great weekly paper like the Kicker, which also runs a harness-shop, grocery, feed-store, and bazar in connec- tion, all under one economical management and the same roof, we should doubtless have inhabited a con- viet's garb in some state prison, Veni, vidi, curanter, which, if we remember correctly, means: "* The mother makes the man what he is.” ‘A svaGestioy,—We have nothing in_ particular against the government, neither do we wish Indian- agent Babcock any harm. It seems to be our duty, how- ever, to call his attention to the fact that he is making an ass of himself, and that he can resign any time within the next three weeks, If we were running this govern- ment we'd run him head-first into the soil about the first thing we took hold of after breakfast Monday morning. —Detroit Free Press. PLANTATION PROVERBS. It doan’t pay to do much talki to choke, "Kase de word dat stings de deepes’ am de one dat nebbah spoke ; Let de udder fellow wrangle till de stohm am blowed away, Den he'll do a pile ob thinkin’ "bout de things you didn't say. you'm mad enuff Spec’ de leetle blue-eyed daisy, pee} soil, Though it ain't no tow'rin’ oak tree, hones’ toil ; Spec’ de red rose in de garden, blushin’ day sun, Nebhalt seatters o'er de grass tops till its wuck at home am done. fru de medder has its sheer neath de June ‘Taint de chap dat’s allus kickin’ kase de worl’ ain't jes’ his size Dat'll lib on roasted skies Dar's a likely soht o” blessin’ eben wid de hardes’ lot, Ihut de one dat looks de bigges’ am de one you habn't fot. ‘possum in dat ‘lan beyond de Spec’ de grey squir'l snubs de chipmunk kase his color ain't jes’ right, Tut wen guns bang in de wood lot, chipmunk sleeps de bes’ at night. “Hout de smahtes’ chap I knows on is dg one dat doan’ git leff, "Kase he spen’s his loafi hisseff. Nebbah quarrel wid yo’ nabur ‘k seem soun’, Lots ob roads dat staht out difrent wriggle roun’ to de same town, ‘Though yo' lot in life am grubbin’ in a crooked ‘tater row, Allus’ hol’ yo" head up firmly, as you'm trab'fin te an’ fro. John Russell Fisher in Detroit Fre * minnits gittin’ “quainted wid ase his ‘ligion oan’ “LEADING HOTELS. NE W YORK CITY BREVOORT HOUS! rierw AvENCE (near Washington square) NEW YORK: ©. B. Linney, + Proprietor. HOTEL GLENHAM, AFT AVENUE (between Zet and Zi atreetay NEW YORK. Barry, Proprieto GRAND UNION HOTEL, UNION SQUARE HOTEL & HOTEI UNION SQUARE and LTH ST. Enropean Plan. Daw & De Revere, Proprietors, Furopean Plan. GILSEY HOUSE, Corner Broadseny and 2th S J.H. BRESLIN ALBANY. ON. KEELER'S HOTEL, 2 DatoRs Fane, ST, JAMES HOTEL, Utica, New York. SMITH & PATTEN, Proprietors, ‘SUMMER HOTELS. Witt onea 3, SATURDAY, June 16. For information GEO. M. oe KWAY ‘Magacer Gilsey House, New Vork for season of avaress THE SPRING HOUSE Richfleld Springs, N. Y. Invites Comparison with the Best Summer Hotels. Open Saturday, Juno 22d. F. R. PROCTOR. CONGRESS HALL, SARATOGA SPRINGS, N. Y. OPEN JUNE 224 TO OCTOBER, Accommodates: 1,000 questa. Rates, $3 to $4 per day, according to location of rooms; by the week, $17.80 to $2, CLEMENT & FOX, Proprietors, H. 8, CLEMENT, Managers HOTEL KAATERSKILL, CATSKILL MOUNTAINS, N. Y. OPENS JUNE &. #21 a week and Call or address for descriptive su W. F. PAIGE, GILSEY. HOUSE, Broadway and 2h St., New York, (Entrance also No, 28 West 30th St.) SHARON SPRINGS, N. Y. SHARON HOUSE, NOW OPEN. the Sulphur Rath Houses mphiet descriptive of New Inhalation Building and European Methods of using. Sulphur Water, mailed on application, THOMAS K. SHARP, CARL PRETZEL'S PHILOSOPHY. Hooman life drots along mit itself in pooty goot or- der, vhen efery feller his pishness minds. Der tuyfel keebs # blace vhere brimshtone dicks vas der cheef inkredients, Der vorld vasthafe a short time memory. You got to jog dot ting ockasionally or he vil fergot about you. Dots besser you dond vas run in debt for reshpect- abilidy.—Natural Weekly. nd pol ‘The other afternoon, after a school in Dooly county had been dismissed, two of the little boys had a row over a knife that each wanted to make a whistle with, Mter a considerable race the boy with the knife es- caped. y met a stranger in the road and accosted him thus: ‘Say mister, yer in't seen nary boy down the road there with my knife, and looks like his name is Bob, is yer?”"—Savannahk News, FLESS & RIDGE, JUDGE PRINTERS, FIFTH AVENUE AND SIXTEENTH STREET, NEW YORK. comicbooks.com