Judge — May 11, 1889 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

UNSUCCESSFUL SHOPPING. ERY soon after Mr. Spoildall’s mar- riage he was taken with a bad cold and was confined to the house for several days. His wife started out shopping one morning during h.s convalescence, und having regained his sense of taste a litile, he asked her to step into Nickotin’s and get him a bunch of his favorite cigars. She came back without them and answered his disappointed query in a manner that made him go after them himself,a thoroughly well man. L asked him for a bunch of the cigars you always smoke,” she said, “and he had the audacity to offer me one with the tops all torn off. I told him that a woman who had been buying radishes and turnips and beets as long as I had knew enough not to have dried-up truck palmed off on her, and slammed the door as I went out.” Mr, Spoildall orders his cigars by telephone now, and Mrs. Spoildall asserts on all occasions that an unscrupulous dealer can sell a man anything. GREEN-ROOM GOSSIP. (Prom The Daily Guth.) Miss Ray Glendowan—" How d'ye do? Do you write for that dear, delightful paper, Zhe Datly Gush ? I'm very sorry, but my manager has forbidden me to say anything to reporters. Still, | don’t mind showing you the new gown Worth made for my appearance in * Romeo and Juliet.’ How could you newspaper men say I was to support M. Coquelin? So absurd, you know. I begin my season at the Scrapple street opera house, Philadel- phia, you know. The opening piece will probably be a AFTER A NIGHT WITH THE BOYS. new version of ‘ Two Gentlemen of Verona,’ by Mr. Raw- Fis vavet—"" There's a.gent below as would like to see you, si.” leigh Thompson, but I can’t tell you the character I am to Juoce, Dituennack (stepily)—"* Is he in?" play. Ehave had a gown made by Worth that fits the His vavet—" He is, sir.” . part to perfection; or, rather, will fit it when the part is Jupce Dittanwack (stil more sieepily)}—"* T've got three sevens, modernized. The cloak is of raspberry watered silk, with —<—— a lilac hood and gold tassels, cut dérectoire, with a shirred waist and escalloped skirt, with jet-work fringe. Oh! thanks very much; some day I may try fleshings. A sash should go with the gown, and my manager suggests the colors of the American flag. Of course, I could wear an Irish or a German flag where those national colors would attract a community. No, there will be no lions or tigers. Going? Docall again. Sorry I can’t give you any more information, but my manager is inflexible in his commands. Excuse my not rising. I wear a number one slipper, you know, and I injured my foot yesterday in trying on a number three shoe. Good-bye.” Mr. Percy Curly Kew—" Awe, yaas. The dwama is—aw—not so—aw—ap- pweciated as—aw—it should be. Those of the finer mould only—aw, if I may— aw—speak bwoardly, gwasp the picturesqueness—aw—of the modern dwess-coat actaw, They delight in a well-dwessed actaw and—aw-—insist that—aw—he should be well-dwessed, don'tchersee? The deah women—aw—delight in a gwaceful pose, and—aw—the poser must—aw—be well-dwessed, of course. I do not—aw— care to discuss the pwesent tendency of the—aw—modern dwama; but it—aw— should be well-dwessed, yer knaw. Society actwesses? Aw, yas; played out, aw. give a flesh and blood wepwesentation—aw—of that populah picture-~aw—called, ‘Simply to Thy Cwoss I Cling.’ Could you—aw—loan me— aw—a dollah? Well, aw—a quatah will do, aw. Manager Matt. Crimmins—"A great many persons think a manager has a cold, soft snap; nothing to do but to rake in the money, shovel it into the bank and draw it out again, Why, them lace curtains on them boxes cost me forty-seven dollars brand new. That bar-room scene, with the realistic gin bottle, cost over thirteen dollars. It makes me sick to hear persons a-saying us managers is mil- lionaires, while the ‘ Standing Room Only’ sign is growing whiskers up in the attic. Now and then we strikes a jim-dandy. But every piece requires new scenery, and them sets costs boodle. Then the public is flighty. ‘The play that turned me down last year may run six months next season. When I put on ‘The Stuffed Pickle’ last spring it fell dead, though I had Billy Leftfield of the St. Louis ball team play the dead-beat and Maggie Scufiles doing a turn with the skip-rope. It’s coining gold on the western circuit now, and the company always leaves town with trunks and re- ceipted hotel bills. There was my ‘TIllma, the Fairy,’ that Ned Flanagan of the Liberty Daily Mail wrote for a lot of costumes 1 bought in Hoboken at an auction. It went with arush, I had big yellow-and-green posters all over town: ‘Grand Revival,’ ‘Good Old Pantomine Again,’ and all that sort of thing. I starred Mrs. : William Hoe Murphy, who got a divorce from her husband in Washington, in that COMPLYING WITH THE RULES. piece, She went on in the ‘Great Fair Scene’ and sang ‘Fly as as Bird.’ Nop; Gib Me: Pty" I's 6 pesky onbandy way of glee’ 6o.tht r n the drama, but it's paty-deforty-grass on Monday and cabbage- cars, but | s'pose them rules has got ter be follered.”” De wiTT sTeeRY, comicbooks.com