Judge — May 4, 1889 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE PRETTY MAN. ‘Twas at the railroad crossing that we hap- pened for to meet, Where a freight-train had the impudence to interrupt the street: It was near the midday meal-time- many mor- tals waited there, But not another creature half so marvelously fair, "Twas no foolish, foolish woman, but a crea- ture on a plan Far more strangely fascinating; was a pretty, pretty man, ‘One who looked so calmly scornful of all com- ‘mon, human clay ‘That scarcely one in all the crowd could turn. his eyes away. 5, All beautifully polished with the best of toilet His vivid cheek was fresh enough to move a misanthrope; And from his garments fragrance fell, ex- tremely rich and rare, While odors of the barbershop were wafted from his hair, Like that upon the shirt-fiBnt of a first-class laundry sign; {And straggling froma button-hole, two ways across his breast, A watch-chain loudly added to the glory of his vest. I'm not a judge of smoke, and yet, the smell was so intense, I dare assert that his cigar was worth some several cents; And yet with light and liberal hand when all its fire was spent, He tossed the stub away as if it hadn't cost a ¢ Upon the girls in plain array he coldly turned his back, ‘Though gallantly he smiled on one who wore a sealskin sacque: And it scemed a dreadful pity such a being was a clerk, He seemed so like a gentleman all unobliged to work. Oh, the poet seeth pathos even in the pomp. And 1 felt a throb of lingered near And when the engin too," T wept that so much when the train swept by, only born to die. SKS, GHOKGR ARCHIMALD. WANTED—ARISTOCRATIC FRUIT. Fruit-dealer— Mrs. Uppertenne, we have some fine blood oranges, just arrived; shall I send you some ?” Mrs, Uppertenne—"Nes, if they're nice blue-bloods; the last were just some of those ordinary red ones that everybody can get.” Orricer Kati CONGRATULATORY. AN (to his cousin, just over)—"* Plwhat are yez doi yet’ ring th’ bill fer supper >GEGAN—"" It's lear-rnin’ th’ ways av th’ shwells fast yez are, dar-rlint.”” ANOTHER THING ENTIRELY. Jack Borrowit and see! this coat “You told me these goods wouldn't fade, Moses, perfectly ruined after three weeks’ weai Moses—" Ab, you did not ask me if it vould vash, mein friendt ! 1 gif no guarantee against dhose spring rains.” BARRED OUT. IWiggins—* If you're out of work, Jack, why don’t you try to get on a jur Jack Borrowit— Can't. \ read the papers every day, looking for a job; and what lawyer would accept a man of that kind ?” iy Pirneron WHAT Miss DespLaines- Miss Brentox—"' I'm sure I don't know, Halt ye) oS IT WILL COME TO. “Who's that talking to Mr. Dosset ?* Can't amount to much, I notice she isn't branded.” comicbooks.com