Judge — April 27, 1889 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE POOR COATLESS WRETCH! ME SOFT STRAINS of Strauss and Planquette HUM OF THE COURT. HAVE the largest signature on that declaration of inde- pendence and don’t you forget it—Jakn Hancock. WOULD like to have many lives to give to my country, and if Thad it wouldn't be half as bad to lose this one.—Nathan Hale, HAVE looked many times for a second Wash- ington, but the heredit: ciple was totally at fault with his name and generation. [TIS LAMENTED that George left no children ; and yet as the father of his country he left a family that promises to be the largest in the world, QUE GEORGE was rejected by more girls than any other man, The one last men- tioned by historians was Sally Cary, and we ‘Suppose his still living nurse has some of his love-letters to her still inher possession. Vibrate on the ambient air Some fop who has seen you are fair Has engaged for waltz, polka and set; In his arms now your form debonnaire He has clasped, my petite, precious pet. You have walked by his side ‘mid the flowers, He has whispered stray phrases from plays, ‘And you listened as you have for hours To my honest, heartfelt words of praise. Back again in the figure and maze, On your partner your smiles fall in showers; Other men with quick jealousy gaze ‘As he leads you once more ‘neath the bowers, And 1, who upon you would dote, Sit at home, brooding darkly, alone: How different from what [once wrote Are verses like these, full of moan. Rejoiced 1 to think you my own “Til Miss X. for her ball sent a note And I had to refuse with a groan, As Snip would not trust a dresycoat. LENVOI. I have basked in your smiles, dear Lizette, ‘And to gain them much time did devote: But I've lost them, my darling coquette, As Snip would not trust a dress-coat. 4.0. 6. purry. AT THE SONS OF HIBERNIA THEATRICALS. Gex, MARION (Mfr, Collins) —"* We've captured a British shpy, sor.” Ges, Wasincton (Ar, Deasey)—"* Boil th’ sassenach in hot karyosane oil, Shkin him be inches an’ kim in an’ repoort."" WILLING TO COMPROMISE. Uxcir PokrLry—* Yo! ain't got a quahter fer one ob Gawge Wash'ton’s body serbents, has yo", Iehd) Miss ScituyLer—"* Why, uncle! you're not half old enough to have served General Washington.” Uncut PokeLry—"* Make hit a short shillin’ den; dar’s a deal HERE WAS nothing that George Washington couldn't do; for we must remember that the pigs-in-the-clover business didn’t exist in his day. THE BARBER who pounded his head with a flat-iron re- minds one of the physicians—he preferred anything rather than his own method of destruction. B, ARNOLD was for a time a mugwump, and it was * quite natural that, having to go somewhere to save his life, he should go over to the enemy.—Larry Godkin, HE WALKING in this city in George's day was extremely difficult, and in George's transition from Wall street to old St. Paul's the gentleman took the oath several times before Chanéellor Livingston administered the same. THE TROUBLE with the people who celebrate is that they are not up to snuff—at least to the McAllister article of that titillating mash; but we can tell them that the McAllister, though scotched, is not subdued. ON HISTORIAN says the first president “blubbered like a boy” when the lady known as the highland beauty refused him; and it is certain that for a long time the young man looked upon this world as a whale of tears. DOUBTS HAVE arisen as to the accuracy of Stanley's story of his march to Emin pasha; but there are two things against the doubts—Henry is a newspaper man, and he knows more about Africa than all of his critics together. H TORY RELA 5 the deeds of those men who killed other men for a living,the cheap yeoman being for- gotten, there are so many of him; and yet, odd as it seems, the industrious man who makes the most money is to-day the larger hero.