Judge, 1889-04-27 · page 5 of 28
Judge — April 27, 1889 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces targeting American political figures and social customs of the Gilded Age era. **"Lots of Gaul"** mocks a socially anxious gentleman consulting etiquette guides, satirizing nouveau riche insecurity about proper behavior. **The political commentary** references Thomas Jefferson and George Washington approvingly while criticizing contemporary figures: "Grover" (likely Cleveland) is portrayed as doing "quiet thinking" while his rival "David" (unclear reference) may win caucuses but will lose the general election. Senator Morrill is ridiculed for his political ambitions. Young Bennett's newspaper success is noted. **"His Opinion"** jokes that Washington was an honest man—implying modern politicians are not—by having a child ask if he kissed a woman, with the answer "yes," followed by criticism that "if he didn't lie about it he was a blamed fool," sarcastically suggesting honesty is foolish. **"The Reason"** is lighter social humor about women mysteriously quiet until discovered putting "pigs in the pen"—a rural/domestic task interrupting socializing. Overall: critique of political hypocrisy, social climbing, and nostalgia for early American virtue.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
LOTS OF GAUL. Miss Octernorre—" Pardch me, Mr. Hagglewroth, but you seem a trifle distneit.” Mr. Haccrewrornt (uncomfortably)—" 1 was just looking in my ‘World’s compendium of etiquette’ to sce what to reppytee when you overhear a lady call you a ‘ parvynoo."” T., JEFFERSON said we ought to have the continent as a means SHINGTON was a very proud man, and though Martha under- * to ordinary and common-sense protection. ‘T. Jefferson was the stood mending he never had a patch on his breeches even when principal papa of the Democratic party, but he had the utmost respect he went to the plow; at least if he did he insisted on wearing a coat for home resources. with a long tail to it. EVER MIND, Murat. You can represent the state of Ohio at your office in Cincinnati, and that’s gory and glory enough for one man, YOUNG BENNETT had a great beat of the other Lon- don dailies with his London Herald the other day; so that the question regarding the Sun- day newspaper is more important and agitating in London than it was a couple of weeks ago. GROVER is doing a great deal of quiet thinking, but it is to be gbserved that D.B. H. is sending his henchmen out for their health and things. But, while David will beat Grover in the various caucuses, there is no doubt that Grover will beat David in the general election. THIS REPUBLIC was born in ‘76, and fully established itself between the years ‘61 and 65, It will take at least a cen- tury to bring about another irre- pressible conflict, and that will settle itself or the men who ad- vocate the arbitration of the gun will be permitted to do the shoot- HIS OPINION. Tommy (soho has been brought int to call on the revolutionary centenarian)— “Did George Washington kiss her 2” His mor: Yes, dear.” HE STORMS of the winter and spring have done such tremendous damage that people island to the gulf of pining in the national Protect the s st.” In fact Long Branch has already called for an appropriation. ENATOR MORRILL is an old man, and the Albany Journal says he proposes to go to heaven by way of Washing- ton. If the senator doesn’t un- derstand the celestial ge better than that he will ma awful mistake. THE REASON. ROOM full of maidens together: And I in my bachelor's den, Expected they'd talk of the weather. ‘The fashions, the scandals, the men. But after a few laughing phrases T wondered what kept them so st A room full of girls—one hour quiet, Surprised me quite into a chill Time passed: I could stand it no longer, I peeped through the keyhole and then Discovered the cause of their silence— They were putting the pigs in the pen. HONK be JONES A man's best fortune is his ing themselves. Toumy—"t Well, if he didn’t lie about it he was a blamed fool.” money. comicbooks.com