Judge — April 6, 1889 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE 427 A WESTERN PHILOSOPHER. ‘The truth is as often crushing as crushed. Never cry; be picturesque, and sob pitifully, ‘The rich man’s theory is the poor man's fact. If you wish to flatter a man ask him for his advice. You hear more talk of genteel poverty than of gentec! wealth. fe some men a pencil and they at once begin to write dirty words, Imprudence knows not what it docs; prudence does not what it kno Building air-castles should be the work of the man who is full of wind. ‘True kindness never mentions red hair when there are red-haired people around. We never knew an old maid who would admit that she never had a love aff ‘The head that has never won a crown is held higher ‘than the head that has lost one. Man, like the child, believes that he the only one who has bitter medicines to t Athi: mn Gl When Baby was sick, wo gave her Castoria. When she was a Child, sho cried for Castoria. When she became Miss, she clung to Castoria, When she had Children, she gave them Castoria, Afiss Bell (warningly)—' when Twas a little girl, that if T did not let coffee alone it would make me foolish.” Sully (who owes her one)—'* Well, why didn't you ?" The Spellbinder is.a new quarterly publication adi ably illustrated, and having a fine combination of polit cal information and spellbinder talk and walk and con- versation. It is sent out from Washington, D.C. and it is understood that not a plblisher of it, or'a subscriber could be induced by any kind of bribe to accept, President Harrison indorses it with a wide, t executive quill. Have you anything to say why sentence of death should not be passed upon you?” Yes, your honor.” “What is it?” ‘tT have always been and still am strenuously opposed to capital punishment." —Meb-aska State Journal, Add 20 drops of Angostura Bitters to every glass of impure water you drink. The genuine only manufac- tured by Dr, Siegert & Sons. Ask your druggist. MATRIMONIAL MISHAPS, ‘The young woman who refuses to marry does so by slight of hand, —Merchant Traveler, ‘The woman who was divorced from a sailor and mar- ried a telegraph lineman said she did it for a change of climb mate.— Boston Bulletin, ‘The man who figures in a divorce suit usually knows how much alimony he has to pay. That's one rea- son why he figures. Rochester Post-Express. hicago woman has married a man named Nail. s easy to sce who will be master in that fami ATARRH CURED, er years of suffering {rom that loathsome inly trying every known remedy, at last found a recipe which completely cured and saved him {rom death. “Any sullerer {rom this dreadful disease sending a self- addressed stamped envelope to Prof. J. A. Lawrence, 88 Warren St., New York City, will receive the recipe free of charge. It is one of the paradoxes of life that the more a wife keeps her husband in hot water the colder he grows toward her,—Boston Courier, THE ANYBODY can use the Kovak. The operation of mak- ing a picture consists simply of pressing a button, One Hun- dred instantaneous pictures are made without re-loading. No dark room or chemicals neces- sary. A division of labor is offered, whereby all the work PRICE 925,00, _ of finishing the pictures is done at the factory, where the camera can be sent to be re-loaded. ‘The operator need not learn anything about photography. He can "press the button" —we do the rest, Send for copy of Kopak.Primer, with sample photo- graph. THE EASTMAN DRY PLATE AND FILM CO,, Rochester, N. Y. “ Pray, can I try to win your heart ?” T asked a Boston maiden; She looked perplexed and gave a start— My heart was heavy laden, She spoke and said, ‘* What you can do, How should I know, I pray, sir? But you"—she changed her tone—"* but you— Tthink, I think, you may, —Detroit Free Press. POOR PEOPLE'S CHANCES. Some years ago a city missionary was crossing one of the parks in New York on the Sabbath day and said to alad, "What are you doing here, breaking the Lord's day?’ You ought to be at church and worshipping God instead of breaking the Sabbath in this way.” The poor lad in his rags looked up and said: ‘Oh, sir, it’s very easy for you to talk that way, but God knows that we poor chaps ain’t got no chance.” ‘The sentiment seems to be growing that in the United States the time has arrived when ** the poor chaps don’t have no chance." ‘There is some truth in it. The poor are not shut out from making a livelihood, but the gulf between riches and poverty continually grows more difficult to cross. As the country becomes densely populated keen busi- ness competition decreases the chances for accumulating wealth by ordinary business methods. But the same conditions vastly improve the chances for great success to those who can strike out in new paths, can furnish something to the world that others cannot, ‘True merit, in commodity or ability, will win easily if the masses can be induced to recognize it. What a marvelous success has attended the thorough introduction to the world of the merits of that wonderful remedy for kidney disease—Warner's Safe Cure. Hon. 1. I. Warner first came to know of its curative power by being restored to health from what the doctors pro- nounced a fatal kidney trouble. He concluded the world ought to know of it, and in the ten years since he began its manufacture he has spent millions of dollars in advertising the Safe Cure. Bat mark! he never would have secured a fourfold re- turn of the vast sums thus expended if the real merit of the remedy had not been fully proven to the millions of people reached by his advertisements, ‘Ten years of increasing success of Warner's Safe Cure is due, first, to intelligent and pleasing advertising, by which the people were made acquainted with the remedy. Second, to the true worth of the remedy, proved by actual experience, showing it to be the only spec kidney disease, and all diseases growing out of derangements. The New Afoon is the name of a brilliant journalistic luminary published at Paducah, Ky, Its editor is a very plain-spoken sort of person, and his editorials have all the dash and breeziness about them so typical of the chivalric Kentuckian, as witness the following: * The Dashing Dust, a paper with a sickly circulation and a good deal of aggravation, makes the following alleged funny break about the J/on: ‘There isa paper pub- lished in Paducah called the Afen. We are of the opinion that a snipe would have a dark time fishing on the journalistic coast if this A/aon was the only organ of light." We have nothing to say of the editor of the Dashing Dust, aside from the fact that he is a squint- eyed, consumptive liar, with a breath like unto a buz zard, and a record like unto a convict; and if he doesn’t hie himself back to the path of rectitude and tell the truth a little more pleatifully he will find it to be after the fashion of that land to rise up as one man and churn him up till there will be nothing left of him but a few chin whiskers and a wart. Fogg—""1 see it stated that Mrs, Humphrey Ward is not coming to America.” Brrwon—" Mrs. Humphrey Ward? ¥ don’t think I ever heard of her. Who is she?” Vhy, she is the author of ‘ Robert Elsmere.’ " Brown—" No, never heard of it. What is it, a his- tory or record of travels, or only a book of verses ?” And Fogg clasped the hand of Brown with effusive energy, and with tears in his eyes declared that Brown vas the luckiest and happiest man in America, —Boston Transcript, It's as rain is to the grasses Burnt beneath a scorching sky; But I'd rather face the music Of the bullets as they fly Orer the bloody field of battle Than to see a woman cry. = Boston Globe. A vessel at sea need not have a clock in the cabin, but must always havea ** watch on deck." —Jewelers' Weekly. THE CELEBRATED PIANOS ‘Are at present the Most Popular and Preferred by Leading Artists, Warerooms, 149, 151, 153, 155 East 14th St., W.Y. SOHMER & CO., -; 1103 Chestnut Street; Cwicaco, Tut, 236 caNcISCO, CAL., Union Club Building? Sr. Louis, Mo., 1523 Olive Street: Kansas Crry, Mo, 1123 Main St. Pruvapeteni En the Migd Curt of Fustice.—Govsellv. 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