Judge — March 30, 1889 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A FABLE FOR YOUNG WRITERS. o {EE AND HUMOR once had a quarrel. 1." said Wit, “am the lightning of the mind that clears the mental atmosphere from the heaviness of literary stupidity.” And 1," said Humor, “am the genial shower that refreshes the arid plains of literary commonplaceness.” "1," said Wit, “ puncture the follies of mankind with the keen arrow of ridi- cule, In this way I make men absurd to their fellows ; they dread their neigh- bors’ laughter, and growing ashamed of their foibles they cast them aside. Tit was to whom Solomon referred as the friend when he said, ‘Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.’ " * But,” answered the more gentle Humor, may not a friend kiss as well as an enemy? Must a friend always wound to be faithful? “Tis true you have corrected many a folly of man- kind, but have not I also? In your path lie kindliness, stabbed by your scornful words; self-esteem, dragged from its rightful throne by brutal caricature, your slave; yood-nature, stung to the quick by your jibes at its ‘stupidity “And you,” replied Wit, the proud—are there no ghosts in your house? Have not men—your disciples—betrayed the secrets of each other's domestic altars in the name of * Humor’ ? Have not men—your disciples —stolen my sharpest arrows, blunted them against the mill-stone of verbosity, and, shooting them from their * amusing’ bow instead of my ‘instruct to which they rightfully belonged, sent them abroad a You make men laugh, you say, and that men can enjoy your companionship longer than they can mine, and come away refreshed from the fount of fun. me the quick, appreci- ative smile of the cultivated man rather than the loud, and often senseless, laugh of the uncultured boor.” At this moment Public Opinion appealed to her to settle the disput own? * Alas!" sai at this moment “Ah!” spoke up Wit, the quick, "that word, mishap. CRISS-CROSSED UNDERSTANDING. Hottys (who is selecting a park hack for his wife)—" She seems to need touching up a good deal, Anderto ANDERTON (the dealer)—"* She is a bit pale complected, sir; but, Lor’ bless yer! th’ hexercise ‘Il = redien them cheeks like roses, sir. appeared, and Wit and Humor each d she ; “by what dire mishap did | happen on the scene It was origi- nally a compound from misery and happiness, signifying something be- THE OLD BANDANA AGAIN. CHARLIE Courace (feeling in his neighbor's pocket by mistakey—"" 1 know it’s hor- wibly bad fawm to sneeze in public, but I've paws'tively got to. You'll pawdon me, won't you ? tween the two, As you are to decide between us, and can only decide in favor of me—of one of us—you are a living illustration of its meaning.” Humor was laughing heartily and said, “That gives me some goo.l ideas, 1 can have a first-rate article in answer to your question in an hour or two, when you are rea Public Opinion clapped her hands in delight at these two character- istic replies. “You shall have my answer at once, and it shall be both for and against each of you. You, Humor, in this present day of many fol- lowers—some of whom do, indeed, follow so far away as to be unrecognizable—you, Humor, are too often labored and heavy, and the work done in your service is too appar- cnt. Teach your would-be disciples that ‘the greatest of all arts is to conceal art,’ and quicken your jests by the methods of Wit. A smile from the mind is better than a laugh from the mouth. And to you, Wit, whose true disciples are daily decreasing, to you I would say, be not so arrogant in your pride of past mem- ories, The days of Hook and Hood are no more, and that which was spontaneity in their work is too apt to be imitativeness in the work of your present followers. And the sharpness of an old arrow pointed anew is less pleasing to the sight and more wound- ing when ‘tis used. Blend the wider-reach- ing system of Humor with your own acute- ness. Follow my advice, both of you, and each will be the gainer thereby. And as Public Opinion left them, around and about a multitude of newspaper readers cried out aloud “Yea, verily; let thy touch be lighter, oh, Humor, in the alleged humorous articles, and let _not thy arrows sting so sharply, oh, Wit. in the political satires.” y to decide. Why Gardeners are usually rakish men. comicbooks.com