Judge — March 30, 1889 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

410 JUDGE A MUZZLED GOD. ** YOU'LL excuse me for being personal,” remarked Hunchley, “but | can’t help telling you how much I admire Mrs, Hobson, I danced with her last night at the subscription ball, and during the promenade was immeasur- ably impressed with her brightness, intelligence, You have a perfect and, I may say, beauty, goddess in your wife, sir, That may be,” replied Hobson, who was the recipient of this burst of taffy, “but she ain't a goddess of liberty by a large majority.” “Doesn't she allow you proper latitude 2” was the query. ot much she doesn’t,” with a long- awn sigh. “See this dust, and smell this camphor? I've just passed four hours in an old hair-trunk up in the attic for saying before her that I thought Mrs, Hunchley was a charm- ing woman, Metter be careful, my friend.” AN UNKNOWN SPECIES. Young Mrs, Le Docteur (being initiated into the mysteries of her husband's private office)—" What dreadful thing is this, Harry? See how it rattles. Le Docteur a mounted skeleton, my pet.” Voungy Ars. Le Doctenr (studying it attentively) —" Oh, a mounted skeleton. What a queer-looking ani- mal! Did you shoot it in the Punjaub last summer 2” NOTES OF FASHIONS. Sermons are limited to eight minutes in all fash- ionable churches. Matches are considered delicate little suggestive favors at a german, Gentlemen are wearing fur glove large enough toa commodate their partners’ hands just now. BARNUM'S PERNICIOUS EXAMPLE, Miss TREVENOR —"‘Awfully sad about Bessie Menard, isn’t it?” > Miss Exetaas —"t Why, I haven't heard. Is. “Why, I hear she we ‘ ‘ : . that Nell has bro- 188 TREVENO thousand times worse than ce, ee. that. She told Charlie Horton that three rings were ken her engage au fait this season, and he broke the engagement.” ment with Fred A NATURAL and no wonder; he asked her if they shouldn't read ‘Robert Elsmere’ aloud together evenings.” SPECIAL DISPATCHES FROM EUROPEAN COURTS. His royal highness the king of Spain sneezed three times this morn- ing. The present weather burcau will be dissolved under high displeasure unless a more becoming disposition is manifest toward our sovereign. he duchess of Gutenwoldsteinouh’s tabby cat, Pastre, died at M. Flags at half-mast, All loyal cats will follow suit. When the to put on his crown this morning it was found that a spider had maliciously spun her web across it. ‘This circumstance, combined with that of an unpleasant dream, has made the czar more than usually restless, The spider will be banished to Siberia by process of administrs ‘The queen has been unable to wash her hands for two days past save at the morning ablution. ‘The page whose special duty it was to hand the ewer to the lady in waiting who turned out*the water for her majesty has been ungratefully taken ill, and his successor has not yet been appointed. ion, GIVING THE OLD MAN AWAY. Fonp FATHER Son— ‘A man, Foxp ratitex—"' What will you do when you are a man Soex—" Do the same as you do and kiss the servant irk What are you going to be when you grow up?” A TRIFLE EXAGGERATED. Young author—* Vo you receive much rejected manuscript: now- adays >" Old author — No, not very much.” Young author—*\ suppose there was atime when you got a good deal of it back 2" Old author IL used to rec Oh, yes, indeed; when I began writing for the press © back more than I sent.” ROUGH ON THE RAZOR. Mrs. PeTERS—" Doan’ swear so, Cle t k’rect! Mr. Perers—" I cain't help it. Yo! know dat Simmison coon T done argufied wiv at d° ball las’ night ?" Mrs. PeTeRs—"* Umpah, Mr. Petexs—" I'm ly he didn’ hab on one ‘r dem steel shirts.” comicbooks.com