Judge — March 23, 1889 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE “What the deuce does Mrs. wear so many puffs and things for?" asked a lady at the Von Schroe- der ball last week.“ Why,” was the reply, "* she has Julged so much in fashionable dissipation that she has the delirium trimn an Francisco News-Letter, Hooks published 300 years ago sell for from 25 to $500 a volume, Many modern authors, whose unsila- ble editions are reposing on booksellers’ shelves, must regret that they didn't have their works printed in the fifteenth century, But we don’t suppose they thought of that.—Norvistown Herald, EXTRAORDINARY LICENSE. “* It seems tome," remarked one of our citizens, the other day, “that physicians are allowed extraordinary license in the manner in which they juggle with the wel- fare of their patients, ** Now here is Dr, who wasattending Mr, — up to the time of his death, and if he treated him for ne thing he treated him for a dozen different disorders. the doctor said pneumonia was the trouble; then it was consumption. ‘Then the patient was dosed for heart trouble, and so on until just before he died it was ascertained that disease of the kidneys was the real trouble, and that which had been at first treated as ‘onsumption, heart disease, etc., were but ms of kidney disease. But then it was too late. “This is only one case in a hundred, and Iam begin. ning to lose faith in the doctors altogether. In fact, L haven't had any need for their services since I began to keep Warner's Safe Cure in my house, a little over three years ago, Whenever I feel a little out of sorts I take few doses of it, confident that the source of all disease in the kidneys, which I know Warner's Safe Cure will keep in good order, and will eradicate any disease that y be lurking there. Had Mr, — followed a similar course, I have no doubt that he would be alive to-d but of course all people don’t think alike. “One thing Is certain, however, and that is, the doctors are allowed a little too much freedom in the way they have of pretending to know that which they really know nothing about, If they don’t know what is the real trouble with the patient, they should admit it, and not goon and experiment at the cost of the patient's life.” May I take you to the ball ? No, ‘tis Lent, May L take you, then, to call? No, ‘tis Lent. May I take you to the tea? Pray, maiden, go with me. But she merely answe No, my boy May [take you to the play? No, ‘tis Lent. May L walk with you to-day ? No, ‘tis Lent, May [take your heart av Pray, maiden, say not nay. But she merely answered, No, my boy; ‘tis Lent. —Pittsburg Dispatch, TOOK ALL HIS PAINS AWAY. A. M. Chisholm, of No. 2724 Stod- dard Street, St. Louis, Mo., writes: “ During my long residence in Canada I suffered for years from severe pains in my back, across the region of the Ineys, and by the constant use of ALLCock’s PLASTERS invariably obtained great relief, Upon re- moving to St. Louis, I was again troubled with the same complaint, and was advised to use Magnetic and other kinds of plasters, without being relieved of pain, so fell back to my old friend Attcock, who gives me more relief than any other I have ever tried. I always recommend them to my friends and all who suffer from pains and aches of any kind.” Beware of imitations, and do not be deceived by misrepresentation. Ask for ALLCOCK’S, and let no explanation or solicitation induce you to accept a substitute. y? THE MIDNIGHT CRY. ‘The young man stood at the parlor door, And a nice young man was he. Her father was up on the second floor, And he weighed 203. ‘The house was filled with a solemn hush; And the young man’s heart with O'erflowed as the maid, with a modest blush, Vouchsafed him a good-night kiss. ‘Then heavily down from the second floor Came pa’s sarcastic voice, And the cold sweat poured through every pore Of his dearest daughter's choice. For the old man said, ** You tell that dude ‘To put on his hat and flee, For when I'm excited I'm sometimes rude, And I weigh 203." ‘The young man waited to hear no more; He picked up his cane and fled: And the father remained on the second floor, And his daughter went to bed. Somerville Journal, Historic and Picturesque Savannah,” written by Adelaide Wilson and illustrated by Georgia Weymouth, is a handsomely bound and printed volume from the press of the Boston photogravure company. ‘The his- tory involved is very complete and necessarily interest- ing, and a fac-simile of the will of James Oglethorpe is not the least of the suggestive documents introduced. A glance at the title would indicate that the book is of merely local interest ; but it will prove of value to every student of American history, and similar volumes for other places and states would give the historian more excellent material for a general work than might be had, without extraordinary research, in any other way. ‘Two or three weeks since we denounced Col. Halli. mell as a claim-jumper, mule-stealer and wife-deserter and added a few words to the effect that he would look well at the end of a rope. Saturday evening, as we were talking with the cashier of the First national bank, the colonel approached us and warned sto prepare for death, Greatly to our own amazement and to the in- tense surprise of the whole street, we didn't run, On the contrary, we sailed into the colonel like a brick house falling on a sand-fly, and we had him licked inside of five minutes, We can’t account for these freaks in our nature. Sometimes we fight like a tornado an we run like a jack-rabbit.” People intending to lay for us must take their chances. Arizona Kicker in Detroit Free Press, ‘ow that ‘Robert Elsmere” has been dramatized there is no reason why “* stage adaptations” should not be made of De Witt Talmage’s sermons and the patent- office reports. ‘These are no more barren of dramatic incident and interest than the book,— iy Times. A woman has been fined at Hannibal, Mo., for wear- ing pants. If she will go to Washington and assume the title ‘* Dr."" her trousers will cause her no trouble. Evening Wisconsin, A WORK FOR HEBREWS. * Jew and Gentile,” a pees nae the “Ori Mr.” Jacobs” and the ** American Jew the name of a neatly printed pamphlet of 30 octavo pages, by Johanna von Bohne, published by the Judge publish- ing company of New York. > the best of our knowledge this lady is the first that did_not consider it below her dignity to notice these books and their authors. Being of the Protestant per- suasion, the authoress says, and having had a life-long social intercourse with numerous Hebrew families, she expresses in the pamphlet her indignation at the injustice done the Hebrew race by the authors of those books, whom she considers—as we have expressed already—to be renegade Jews and infidel anarchists, in finances broken, in habits loathsome, in feelings degraded. ‘The rebuke which she administered to these low-down literary pirates is lady-like, sensible, indignant and piercing, though not very strong ; but that is, perhaps, so much the bette it will prove acceptable to people of refined tastes. We feel under obligations to the literary lady, and think i would be proper to spread the pamphlet broadcast over the land.— Tye American Isractite, Cincinnati. ‘apoleon Smith” is a very cleverly told tale to which considerable interest attaches, It contains many very fine expressions, and the diction is generally grace- ful.—Chicage Young’ Ladies’ Bazar, A Milwaukee brewery horse drinks a gallon of bees per day. Next thing we'll hear that the animal has joined a labor union and struck for eight hours a day.— Norriitown Herald, THE CELEBRATED PIANOS ‘Are at present the Most Poplar and Preferred by Leading Artists, Warerooms, 149, 151, 153, 155 East 14th St. N.Y. SOHMER & Co., reac, Th anessco, Cats Union Club Build Hn the 3 He hie dea Cutty Foku Uinoet'd Go's Negidered Trade Mart CHERRY BLOSSOM Br eeats atdliioas! he STEPHEN F, WHITMAN & SOM, lovrntors and Kele SRE None tuun's Mantes bee PuNCAUCLEMLL Fat Liceic COMPANY'S. EXTRACT OF MEAT. 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