Judge — March 9, 1889 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE an’ hangin’ up stockings ud be ez wearyin’ ez hangin’ up clo’ aftah a big wash, Hit am bettah fo° de trav'lah by night toe carry a club dan toe OER hocolate’s “‘Thankee™ a'n’t mannahs wid de man dat wins yo’ money any mo" en hit am wid de man dat robs yo". ol Yo" can tell ez much abo't a pol'tician’s nod ez yo" kin abo't nex’ week's win’ f'om to-day’s weddahcock. De man dat makes money an’ doan’ take some comfo't wid hit am brud- der toe de mule dat broke ‘way fom a mangah-full toe gnaw de oat-bin. Ef yo" wantah do a Ving keep at hit. Ef de woodchoppah went fru" N a scrimmage, ef yo" can’t hit, kick. Dar’s a heap o' courage in a fife an’ drum. W'en yo" er thusty a spring er ez good ez a lake. A lie er got no legs, but hit doan’ seem to need any. Knife an’ fawk am o'naments w’en dar’s ntifin’ to eat, Hit er a handy ting fo’ de absent-minded man dat he er got feet. A trav'lah dat limps mus’ staht ubly ef he keeps up wid de one dat doan’, Mos’ men dat sce a padlock ‘clude dat dar er suffin’ wuff habbin™ behin’ hit. Hit doan’ make so much dif'ence w'at de plaintiff says ef de defend- ant am rich. De man dat takes bribes ez laikly ez no ull serve de man fust dat tipped ‘im las’ A spen'thrift am laik a candle. He lightens up de faces ob oddahs at ‘is own expe Wiles de young doctah er fin'in’ out wudder physic ull physic er no a-many pussons die, Dar er grades in all tings. FI wa'n't a herrin’ ud feteh ez much ¢z a trout an’ a mule ez much ez a Kaintuck filly "Ta'n't de value ob a ting ez much ez de fitness ob hit dat tells, IN THE PRODUCE EXCHANGE BATH. Chuck a chicken gol’ dollahs an’ cawn an’ ‘e won't touch de dollahs, HGWiRa_—** Wikei'e ihe aides Wit THERE? Ef Crismus shud come once a week eberybody ud hab de dyspepshy, Hiren amie re enews | pert seen him JowLkY—"" Who's that in with yo Gextar—" That's one of my bath-slippers.”” Howtry—" Oh!” de woods hackin’ a chip outen ebery tree he wudn’ lib long nuff toc cut one ob um down. A man needn’ perch on de chimbly toe prove dat he laiks home. Nebbah ax de man w’at owns de cow wuddah er no de buttah ‘s good J. watpnow. THE MILD WINTER. Though now we say, when off our guard, Old Boreas is a nice man; Next summer we will find st hard Enough to pay the iceman. A FERRY GOOD ANSWER. “T believe the Albany boat leaves this pier, does it not?” Leaves it every trip, ma'am, Never knew it to take the dock up the river yet PRAYED FOR HIS PARTY. Just before election last fall a number of ardent Fiske and Brooks adherents in a certain city held a prayer- meeting. During its course a good brother put forth this petition: “O Lord, fill us with simplicity, or at least make Choro mares us as simple as you can.” THE FATALITY OF JUMPING AT CONCLUSIONS. SUGGESTIVE. Miss OLDHAM (soho is not so young as she used to be)—"* Speaking of fine lace, Mr. Jack- © Did you knock at the door when you came to-night ?* son, here is a lace handkerchief made expressly for me on my sixteenth birthday. Yes: why did you ask such a thing?" Mx. Jackson ( gallantly )—" Simply beautiful! Ah, Miss Oldham, one sees nothing so know, for a change, I just thought you mig'it fine as that nowadays. Things were made much better in those good old times, weren't they ?” Have come, my dear Claude, with a ring. comicbooks.com