Judge — March 9, 1889 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE DENYING HIMSELF. Jones—* Skippley the cashier is practicing a good deal of self-denial nun—" How's that? [ should think that he could get on ‘com- fortably with what he took to Canada.” Jones—" Maybe, but he travels under an adéas, Isn't that self- denial WHAT HE ASKED FOR. Guest (from the wild, wild west)—* Give me a tip-top room.” THE METAMORPHOSIS OF Hotel clerk (to hall-boy)—" Take him up to the garret.” A WILD-FLOWER. _ _ [ MET, HER at Noonuits the season was autumn: AT THE CLUB. All blue was the sky and all gray was the se Cholly is going to marry, paw boy. ‘The tart of the meadow, just: back of the:sa . nd just think of the—aw—giddy lot of neck-scarfs that Was gilded with golden-rod, bright as could be. ‘And there, while she promised to love and to cherish, 1 sainted” that flower as an embl. ed —aw—on one single girl—aw Well, alack! we are married, and sand-dune and meadow Are ‘way out of sight of our flat on the square With my clubs and my business, her tea-fights and visits, We are ssmewhat apart for so tied-up a pair. And as for the rod that I shrined as an idol, It has changed to a kind of a pickly affair. pane. NOTES OF THE OLDEN DAY. Hebe happened to be a she. Acis was the inventor of poker. Sirius was a dog-goned funny star. Castor was one of the salt of the earth, Ate was the goddess of discord, not of dinner. It was generally considered that Ino knew nothing. ‘To-day we drive in phaetons, but Phaeton once drove the carriage of the sun QUITE GOOD ENOUGH. cuse me, Mr. Brown,” said the haberdasher, “ but quarter necktie you have selected. You always Do you notice what a restful feeling it gives you to smoke a quiet cigar 7° Iassax—"* Yes; these of yours particularly. "1 know of only one thing that would give ‘i : a more relaxing effect That's all right, old boy,” he returned, with a wink. Mutey— What's that * My wife has just started making a crazy-quilt HAssan (as dis zorupper comes off —"' Morphine.” A LEFT-HANDED COMPLIMENT. wear a dollar one. A WOMAN'S REVENGE. HE KNEW WHAT IT WAS. “How could you help that Mrs, Proudly dress for the opera when Mother—"\n reading about the accident, Charlie, you said the vie~ you hate her so?" ; Maude. tims were taken out of the debris. You should have said dabree.” “1 I wanted to get a chance to put a pin in Son—" Well, if they had meant dabree they'd have said dabree. This here is debris.” Where Vi ‘ ran Is UTILITY IN THE “FLEIGBLATTER” OFFICE. )—"* You don’d look so mighiy shmardt, ‘The new boy demonstrating that there were no indications of flies on Lis but, py grascious! you vos a vell-puilt poy, You vos engaged.” build, comicbooks.com