Judge — March 9, 1889 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A HYMN OF THE LOTUS-EATERS. Suggested by the fact that the Sin Francisco police recently seized a large consignment of poppy-flowers from China. 11! land of the great Chung Fung, Oh! Wong Chung Fung, our respect “Tis to you that belongs the palm : Is incteased tenfokt at a jump, You have sent us the happy means For the sleep we can take at last Of securing a restful calm. Can defy old ‘s trump. We hang our clubs on the rack ‘Then fill to the goblet’s brim And our helmets doff to you ; ‘The essence of Momus sly : We strip off our belts of hide We'll bid good-bye to the world, And roll up our coats of blue, And sleep, Fong Chung, for aye. SUGGESTIONS TO AUTHORS. Mr. Edgar W. Nye.—Wouldn't it be better if you didn’t let the types act so familiar-like with your name ? Don't you think that William Near is a great deal more “fetching” than Bill Nye? Mr, Wm, D. Howells.—Why not leave your lords and ladies in their laces for a while and give us something realistic that the N gras) You've no idea of the poetry that lurks in the side-breadth of a tea-gown, or the pathos that may be evolved from a plate of bread. We know it will be hard for you to descend from your ideal Pegasus to a modern parlor; but try, W. Dean, try—and if you su do sometimes, don’t try any more Miss Charles Fgbert Craddock. Won't you please try a little dialect in your stories? The real intense were it not for the monotony lent them by their uniformly scholastic and Addison‘an Miss Constance Fenimore Woolson.—Nour heroines are so commonplace! C. a girl he didn’t love than to marry him and make two people happy ? Julian Hawthorne. you a boost on the plot Henry James,—Aren't you awlul tired of Ameri subscription to help you sentences? Just bre that would be almost Bret Harte.—See yer, pard, can’t you come down to hard pan again, and scoop in some of them touches you useter give us in“ Tennessee's Pardner,” and sich? have a new deal of the old cards, JG, Nicolay and John Hay—That Life is a grand effort of penmanship—oh, by the way, which és the Zi/e—the coarse print or the fine? Ben-Hur.—But, come to think, you've ben hurd of enough, and we sha‘n't advertise you any more—so there now Austin Dobson.—Try something definite in verse form, like a round O, and don’t let your muse go 4 all around on such uncertain feet. Lang.—When you write any more“ Let- d Authors” won't you please go there to get them published ? H. Rider Haggard.—Atrica’s too tepid for your Just go to Halifax, won't you? Mark nocence abr Am ASSES C3 ed as you would be English, t you give us a woman who would rather give up her lover to Don't you think you are pretty young to attempt to write a whole book all alone? Why not call in some one to give nd the headlines for the cl ters ? > Why not put an Englishman into your next novel? If you never saw one, we will get up a and keep out of American pages. And asional parenthesis; and if you'd only read “ Hysteric Boobyism” you could write a sentence short, ross the ocean—if you'll only stay ther hat makes you write su k up their sameness by an oce: wolved, vera vain.—Have you a patent on your in- ad? If not, please send some to our an girls over there. J. Whitcomb Riley—M you'd only keep away from that Worldly Bill, and learn to pronounce the i! H\\ ALWAYS ON ii} THE LOOKOUT ing on the end of your words, there might be hopes FOR for your future Culture. BUSINESS. Wm, Black.—We have perused your stories with Lecrvrer—"I will baited breath. We feel that they lack only one thing —see that the bookseller furnishes a fish-pole, piece of string and box of worms with each volume, and we assure you that you will not have va ARISTINE ANDERSON, now take my hearers to the land of the pyra- mids, and "— LDSTERN (in the + front seal * Allow me, mein frent. comicbooks.com