Judge — February 23, 1889 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE TALE OF A TUB. MINSTREL rose, his eyes on fire, And as he sang he struck his lyre “Oh! the plumber came up like the wolf on the fold, And his face it was placid to see, For he'd learned of the way to turn lead into gold— The philosopher's stone possessed he ; And he smiled a beautiful, plumber-like smile At his vision of work by the day ; He reclined at his ease in his lordly style, And his thoughts they were cheerful and gay. “Oh! the rain-water cistern was gruesome and grim, But the plumber—what cared he? Oh! the rain-water cistern was full to the brim, But he laughed in his fiendish glee ; And he waited low till his plan grew ripe, And the sun went down over the hill, For he knew an old boot stopped up the pipe, ‘And he marked down a* V' on his bill * And just as the sun dropped into the west, And the long day came to its close, ‘The plumber he softiy awoke from his rest, And slowly the plumber arose, And softly and slowly, as plumbers know how, He made for that rain-water tank ; Tut alas! as he bowed his portly frame low, He slipped—and he fell—and he sank. * Only a splash splashing up in the night, A-ery—and then all was still; Only the moon rising pensive and white, And liquidate plumber and bill, Oh! the rain.water cistern was sodden and old, ‘And the rain-water cistern was grim ; [And he who once lied about water for gold A CASE OF HEN-PECKING AT McGRAW'S. The water now ies about him.” . maycaqten aca . yeas ; . Aisenn Kei Mrs. McGraw—" I wish you'd go a little slower, Henry. You're getting the worsted all tangled up. UNSUBSTANTIAL SPLENDOR. Jack Borrowit—" See here, Moses! these trousers | got from you only two weeks ago are a swindle, They're all punched out at the knees already.” Moses—"Ab, mein friendt, 1 told you dhose clodhings vas striedly fine dress goots, for holiday wear. You haf ruined dhem yourselluf by sitting at the desk.” BUTTONING HER GLOVE, * Dearest, dearest ! you are late.” * All the waltzes, mind. Now three Yes; but then you knew I'd come.”* Of the polkas. . .. Dare I give “ Well, I hoped our stingy. perverse fate Just another? Let me see Might bestow this scanty crumb! No; I dare not, dear—and live.” “ Here’s my card. Be quick! What fun! “* Sweetest, hush! But let me thank. Take the waltzes—but don't write ‘Yes, mamma, I'm coming—(Love, Your initial to each one; ‘These two galops!) Mr. Blank Change them now and then—that's right. Has been button glove.” MADELINE S, BRIDGES. MR. NYE IN THE WEST. VALLIAM (fo Aimself)—"* 1 reckon I've committed this lecture to memory, AN ANCIENT MAXIM. Those parrots are the best ones in the city. The white one is named ‘Truth and the other Honesty.” he latter is by all odds the best bird.” What makes you think so?” Purchaser ~* Why, Honesty is the best poll I see.” THE HIDDEN HAND. Val.-rby (fecling his opponent's hand under the table)— Huh! Whose hand am dat ?” Johnson (coolly)—" Dat depends, sah, on who can hang on to dem keerds de longest! Ise onter yer game.” A SMILE. THAT IS SMILED. “When I go to the theatre,” said Mamie, “I always allow my escort to excuse himself as often as he likes, for I find gentlemen appreciate it. Why, when Charley goes out between the acts he always comes back with a smile.” “Yes,” returned Miss Snyder, “but when he gets back the smile is where you can’t see it.” “It's awful warm work.