Judge, 1889-02-23 · page 5 of 18
Judge — February 23, 1889 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate satirical pieces typical of late 19th-century humor: 1. **"The Princess's Finger-Nail"**: A mock-heroic poem mocking aristocratic vanity. The joke is that an entire royal court descends into crisis over a princess breaking a fingernail—a trivial matter treated with absurd gravity. It satirizes upper-class obsession with appearance and status. 2. **"A Trifle Uneasy"**: A joke about a nervous Montreal woman (Miss Bonaventure) intimidated by a toboggan slide, with the man reassuring her. The humor relies on double entendre about the slide's size versus her nervousness. 3. **"Those Portable Safes"**: A darker joke about burglars. A man proudly buys a "burglar-proof" portable safe as a gift, but criminals reveal they appreciate such safes because they can steal them and crack them safely at home without police interference. It satirizes the false sense of security such devices provide. The cartoons mock upper-class pretension, gender anxieties, and the gap between marketed security and actual protection.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE PRINCESS’S FINGER-NAIL. wild despair. her hands and ‘The maids of honor were sad and solemn, The pages looked blank as they ston column, ‘The courts The cook’ia the kitchen dropped tears in he stew, And all through the castle went sob and For the princess had broken her finger-nail ‘The beautiful Princess Red-aya-Rose, ct gh-Nose, Broken her finger nail down to the quick No wonder the queen and her court were sick ; Never sorrow so dread before Had dared to enter that castle door. Dh! what would Hi y When she took off con her wedding day ? ‘he fairest princes nsense Land, meeting of parli fore that roy: Had come such quest AS“ how could you h And the skill of the ki ‘They sent for Monsieur Me smoothed dawn the corners so ‘That the princess Pointed and pot Retitting the A TRIFLE UNEASY. Miss BoNaveNture (of Montreal )—"* You're surely never going down on that little thing, Mr, Gagsby. a Tt was made for a ch toed by a jury w lord By a jery : : Mr. Gac who is taking his first slide and is very timid)—" Wt ffeels a gegreat d-deal bigger than td far Of ech see tice pe 5 Tadao, M-Miss Bonaventure.” nid never be patying hie bils—-you see aise he ann of i heal nd DIDN’T WORRY HER, BUT—— fulpinces Role <i De Peyster—"\ see that Miss Brewster has just received a lot of new dresses from Paris.” cl Miss De Garmo—* Indeed! Weil, you know, Mr. De Peyster, that such horrid-looking_ girls have to do something to keep up with the procession.” THOSE PORTABLE SAFES. Youse nvstaxp—" I've bought that portable burglar-proof safe for your Berctar (fice hours later) yese small safes is great inventions, They birthday present, my d saves us coves a deal of trouble. take ‘em home an’ open ‘em without fear what forethought you have, George! I'll put all our valuables of bein’. disturbed by the coppers.”