Judge — January 26, 1889 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE EARLY RISING. Early rising is a bore Diabolical, terrific. Most men vanquished lie before Influences soporific: Some may make a sudden leap Out of bed and go to dressing, Clearing thus their eyes of sleep In a way that’s most depressing. Others yawn, and yawn, and yawn, Dallying, as I'm a sinner, Till, instead of being daw: It is nearly time for dinner. Others tightly close their eyes, Resolute against temptation; You could never make them rise ndeed, it seems to me That their course is much the wiser; T have never yearned to be Famous as an early riser; For I love to lie abed While the early birds are singing, With the blankets round my head, Till the breakfast bell is ringing: And it gives me keen delight When, with soft and honeyed phrases, Some one calls me, out of spite ‘To respond, "* Oh, go to blaz merville Journal. “ Ma,” remonstrated Hobby, ma’s she let me have two pieces at ought not to have done so, Bobby **T think two pieces of pie are too much for little boys. The older you grow, Hobby, the more wisdom you will "Bobby w but only for a moment, II, ma, grandma is a good deal older than you are.” Christian Advveate, THE KODAK. ANYBODY can use the Kovak. ‘The operation of mak- ing a picture consists simply of pressing a button, One Hun. dred instantaneous pictures are made without re-loading. No dark room or chemicals neces- sary. A division of labor is red, whereby all the work of finishing the pictures is done at the factory, where the camera can be sent to be re-loaded. ‘The operator need not learn anything about photography. He can “press the button” —we do the rest. Send for copy of Kopax Primey, with sample photo- graph. THE EASTMAN DRY PLAYE AND FILM CO., N.Y. PRICE 825 00, Rochester, THE CELEBRATED PIANOS ARE AT PRESE HE MOST POPULAR AND PREFERRED BY LEADING ARTISTS. WAREROOMS ; 149, 151, 153, 155 EAST 14TH STREET, N.Y. SOZIMER & Co., PHILADELPHIA, PA., 1119 Chestaut St. CHICAGO, ILL, 236 State Street. SAN PRANCISCO, CAL., Union Club Batiding. ST, LOUIS, MO., 1522 Olive Street. fo Bran nto XEROISER': fr Pais ctee CARL PRETZEL’S PHILOSOPHY. A mans mit a big feets vas yoost like an animals. He vas all s-ox. Der not pooty gwick shnail yas der last pird dot vhent der ark into, Firtue und gootness may been X eyed mit dheir eyes, but dhey vas pooty goot lookin’ enyhow. Der milk of human kineness vas alvays found by der outside in of a female cows, Dot's a sure ting. ~National Weekly, ‘The Sohmer Pianos are pronounced superior to all others by leading artists. “* Here is a queer name for a man.” * What is it?” She—"' Mr. Hert, He's one of the members who at- tended the religious convention.”* He—" He's probably a lay delegate."— rey Times. As the cockroach never plays ball or votes, Nor seeks undying fame, He has no business in the soup, But he gets there just the same. Mrs, Westend—" My dear Mrs. Kaintuck, how is your husband? Is it true that he is suffering from malaria?” Mrs, Kaintuck (from Louisville)—"* Oh, it's not_so serious as that, thank fortune. It's nothing but jim- jams.—Philadelphia Record. LONDON'S DISTINGUISHED DENTAL FIRM WRITES REGARDING THE DEAE 5 COT IIR QOD re sand 96 Loxpow Watt, E. Cost Loxvox, Nov. asth, 1888." f Gentunwen: We consider the Polisher well deserving the notice of all who wish to re and beautify their teeth, and it may be described as the we plus u/tra of tooth brushes. GEORGE R. MATLAND. THOMAS C. MATLAND. AT ALL DRUGGISTS. Its Economy. Holder (imperishable) 3s cents. Polishers only need be renewed. 18 (boxed) 25 cents. Dealers or mailed. HORSEY MANUFACTURING CO., Unica, N. Y. CONSUL AT ST. BONES. ** Man wants but little here below,” and that's just what he gets, And he collars mighty little of that unless he watches his nets, So I'm going to ask the president that will be by and y For a little civil-service sit that I've gimleted with my eye. L want to serve my country in lands.beyond the sea, For a place in the diplomatic corps will just about fit me; T know I'm the man—and to say it I do not hesitate, Just calculated to adorn a first-class consulate. I don’t care where you send me—Italy, France or Spain— I only make one condition, and this one I'll explain: To Greenland’sicy mountains, or Africa's golden stones— Only just give me a consulate that comers a heap of bones. ain't particular whose bones—most any bones will do; Tcan label ‘em coming over and advertise ‘em through. Skull of the great Napoleon; shin of good William Penn} Backbone of old John Calvin, ulna of Thomas Wren. All sorts of ** human warriors,” perfect or incomplete; All of Saint Dives’ skeleton and part of Saint Sinner's feet; Vhalanges ‘of poet and peasant; priest— I ought to come home with a shipload to say the very Teast. tarsi of soldier and Why, with anything like good management for three and six nights stands, We ought to collar the Yankee scads with bones from foreign lands; And see the economy of it—why, after a season or two, | T could pay back my consular salary—sa __bone place, to! Sere) Barts” HELPS tothe ~DEAF ‘Puck's 2arvorr Inpnovep OvaniowxD Dupuis newroe TRE Nea . give me a "Burdette, cog where pe We refer SSR Pee ae 8g Sea meant end perth i} fotratning Mr Qeorge Repose ‘oun Oocarll & Go's Reslatered Trace BUY OF THE MANUFACTURER SEALSKIN GARMENTS A Choice and Extensive Assortment in STYLE, QUALITY and PRICE that cannot be beaten by any. Muffx, Boas, Capes, Stolex, Scarfs, Caps, Gloves, Gauntlets, Rugs, Robes and Far Trimmings. HENRY SIEDE, The 14th St. Furrier, 14 WEST FOURTEENTH STREET, Between sth and éth Avenues NEW YORK. Full Line of Gent’s Furs and Coats, Established Over 38 Years. Send for Catalogue Crosse & Blackwell FRESH FRUIT JAMS, Made from English Fresh Fruits AND REFINED SUCAR, Are Sold by all Grocers IN THE UNITED STATES. C. C. SHAYNE, Manufacturer of Sealskin Garments Newest styles and all leading fashionable furs. 103 Prince Street, New York. Fashion book mailed free. Send your address. comicbooks.com