Judge — January 19, 1889 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A SWEET REVENGE. The warning. WELL-KNOWN WOMEN’S WRINKLES. GEORGE ELIOT always shaved at home. Anne Hathaway could not abide bacon. Mrs. I. Donnelly never learned to cipher. he empress Frederick will not keep a diary. Queen Elizabeth was the founder of polygamy. Queen Victoria is the author of “John Brown's Body Lies.” Mrs, William Nye is the author of the popular expres- sion, “Oh, he’s all write!” She is very proud of Edgar. Accommodation. ckwood would rather be president than: be a type-writer. Mrs. Ward McAllister weighs just 399 pounds, so cannot enter the 400 class. Clara Morris has joined the society for the prevention of cruelty to audiences. Adelina Patti is so modest as to her vocal abilities that she will sing for a Nicol any time. Ella Wheeler Wilcox’s poems are supposed to be chips from the old block, the north pole, because they are so frigid. Mrs. Cleveland visits Philadelphiabaltimorechicagonew- The stop. yorksanfrancisco whenever she is away from the white-house for an hour or two. ‘Amélie Rives always rides to church on a load of hay, and then, grasping the driver by his flannel shirt-collar, slides down into the vestibule. Mrs. Lo says that line about her mind is all wrong, for she has. lico dress, and a new blanket, and a tin trumpet that is the biggest tooter she ever heard. Cleopatra was the author of “The Woman or the Tiger?” And Wm. Story answered the conundrum in his famous poem by proving that she had been both. Mrs. Julia Ward Howe says “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” was not written necessarily for publication, but as 239 an evidence of good faith in the powers of endurance of her friends. e duchess of Marlborough has written a profound philosophical monograph entitled “Americans for Ameri- canesses,” a sequel to her former able realistic novel, “ Mar- riage a Failure.” ARISTINI, ANDERSON A DISINTERESTED LOVER. “1 hope, my son,” said a kind mother, “that you have not fallen in love with Miss Sylph just because she has a pretty figure.” “No, indeed, mother,” he replied, “The only pretty figure that has influenced me is the one her father has.” ‘The start. SHE AND I. She is slender and tall as a goddess, With fair hair and eyes of soft gray; Tiny hands which I've ne'er dared to fondle, Though 1 send her each day a bouquet. T see her at ball or at dinner, She willingly smites on the rest, But for me she ne‘er cares, though I see that she wears ‘A bunch of my flowers at her breast. 1 hear she’s engaged to young Bullion ; I shail go to the wedding, for—well You sce I'm the fashiocabie tlorist, While she's a society belle. CORNELIA REDMOND, Unforescen danger. FAMILY TIES ARE BINDING. Wiggins—" | was astonished to hear how harshly old Plutus spoke to his secretary this morning. | should think the poor devil would resign.” : Crabley—" Bah! He doesn’t dare. Don't you know he’s a poor relation?” _ FORCE OF HABIT. Photographer (who bas been summoned to photograph a dying man)—* Now, then, all ready! Wink all you want to, and look pleasant. “Why did'n’ yer tell a feller?” comicbooks.com