Judge — January 19, 1889 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A DEPOSED QUEEN. SHE was a charming and every- body in the Montreal swim liked her exceedingly. It was an extremely cold tea-fight, party, or reception that was not graced by her presence while she lasted ; and even to this day her name is spoken with a kind of reverential intonation, which expresses a large appreciation of her old-time lovable qualities. The reader will notice that there is a kind of pall hang- ing over this document so far, but he will cease to be interested with one fell swoop when it is said that Miss McGanigle’s papa was a fugitive financier, and that at the time his daughter was enthroned in the hearts of the Canadians the citizens had not found him out. You might search Montreal over to find the application of this screed, but a chromo and hard, shiny dollars say that it is concealed in the lining. SHE HAD NEVER SEEN A T PHONE. Mr. Barrett kept a general store at Mount Morris, “An’ what de yez think of Mishter Barrutt ?” asked an Irish woman of a neighbor the other day. “Oi think Mishter Barrutt ez c responded the one addressed. Vill, thin, Oi don't,” continued the first speaker. Do yez Missus Maginnus, Oi went into Mishter Barrutt’s sthore yisterday marnin’ wid de intinshun of buyin’ some mackerel, Din- ez fond of mackerel. Mishter Barrutt stud wid his ONE ON HER AUNT. hello!’ Oi said * Hello, hello!’ myself, Mishter Barrutt thin re- Miss Gazeaway—"' He's the dearest, loveliest, handsomest fellow you ever saw, pated his remark, * Hello, hello!’ 1+ Hello, hello!” agin. and I'm going to get him or perish in the attempt Mishtet acted mad loike, an’ w’ his sc AUNT PaisclLA—"Aren't you ashamed, Margaret, to throw yourself ata man in Mishter Barrutt thin acted mad loike, an’ widout turnin’ his face to that fashion 2” me, said ‘Hello, Lackywanny dapow! an’ whin he called me Miss Gazkaway—" It's funny, auntie, you're always thinking about men. Iwas Lackywanny dapow Oi wuz that insulted that Oi lift the sthore wid- referring to a Saint Hernard puppy 1 saw yesterday out the mackerel.” COMPLIMENTARY TO THE ARTIST. A WISE MEDICINE-MAN. A lady, who was accustomed to solicit for several charitable institu- Dr. Ebbonie—* Vat chile 0° yours am lookin’ poo'ly, Mrs, Yallerby. tions, the et a well-known miser from whom she had never What's he done gone an’ swallowed this time 2" been able to extract a cent. Mrs, Vallerby— A bit ob lead-pene During the course of the conversation the lady mentioned that she Dr, Ebbonie—* Wm! What he wants now, ma’am, am an erasive had seen his portrait at the academy. remedy. I recommend him ter chew a piece ob Injy-rubber half an hour “And you didn’t ask it for a subscription?” queried the miser, who afore each meal.” was fond of his joke. “Oh, | thought it useless,” calmly replied the lady, “the portrait is so thor- oughly like you, HER MONKEY-SKIN MUFF. A TRAIN OF THOUGHT Blackly, long-haired, it lies upon her | And my fond thoughts are with it th The organ peals—the preacher prays, mayhap : How can I heed, with her across the aisle? That it were I, or L were it! Serene It clasps her hands in tntimate embrace ; Is idly pressed her dainty palms between; Is stroked; of, carried to her musing face, Touches her tender lips! And this, forsooth ! ‘The fortune of a monkey long deceased ; The fragment of a creature most uncouth, Reared in a jungle of the tropic east, Whose chief unintellectual delight And shallow pastime, to hanj In prone suspension, with his tail wound tight. Or did a civic cage exhibit him? Behind museum bars did he contort, Eat peanuts and disport? Or, in array Of frock full red.and petticoat full short Figure as hand-organ attaché? HIS TRIBUTE, What matter? What light on my doleful case? My jealous soul I'd barter joyfully To be for one glad breath, one raptured space That defunct member of the Cebit UncLe AMinipan (fo the swlatory call) — ‘The preacher drones. Across the dig-lit aisle han'some, parson, but it’s Is that a gentle glance, haif hid above darned appropriate. Maria Mer monkey muff? Is that a timid smile ? wiz one" LAN hardest workin’ Now, troth, if this the damsel that I love Wotseni jou: Gera Be plucked by other hands, to my sharp woe— £ If her fair charms, her winsomeness escape My grasping arms; if she be won, I trow, ‘By other's court—then I'm another ape. EMMA A. OFFER, comicbooks.com