Judge — 1888 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NATURAL GAS FROM JUDGE. iN a COOL AND CLAMMY CONGRATULATIONS. Mas. SAckvitLe—“ Why, how do you do, my dear Mrs. Cudley? Delighted to see you. Shopping, of course?” Mxs Cupiev—“Just a little. You know Mr. Cudley has been a little unfortunate in his business lately." (//e failed for half a million.) Mrs. SACKVILLE—“I know, but how much more you mus fe things when you have to pay cash!” A GIVE AWAY. Stranger (to young man consulting his watch) —“I see that you are carrying your first gold watch.” Foung man (somewhat sur- prised)—“Er-yes, sir; but how do you know that?” Stranger—“Because you carry it in a chamois skin case.” MODERN SOCIETY. Nellie (just home from Nar- ragansett, to her bosom friend) —“Oh, Fan! think how delightful it was. One even- ing I danced three dances with a Mr. Peters, who is said to be the wickedest man at the Pier, and all the other girls were so mad.” MSS. RETURNED. “Ah, Chawley, I heah you have written a book.” “What is your publisher's name?” “Can't tell yet; I've only tried three-quarters of the list so far.” CARRYING OUT THE RULE. “Now, pupils, I would like to have you call each other by your right names. Don’t say Sam when a boy’s name is Samuel, or Lem for Lemuel or Dan for Daniel.” Asmall boy just then raised A NEW SOCIETY. “What's new, Gus?” “T hear th: mothers-in-law of thi town are organizing an oath- bound society to be known as the P. P,P.” Bedley—* Gracious do those letters me: Medley—** Pulve Paralyzers of Paraj A GOOD REASON. Miss Lilly was trying on her first long dress. “No doubt you're glad to get rid of the short. skirts,” said her mamma. “Yes, indeed; for now they can't see me grow.” A SAD OMISSION. Pawnbroker (with his mind on the shop, at the theatre box-office, studying the ticket he had purchased)—“I zay, dare vash no tate on dish sheck fur retempshun of de bledge!” TOO HONORABLE TODOIT. Mr. Bulcombe—*Tell_ me, SZ Harold, if you hear any com- ~— pliments about me from your sister Emily.” Harold—*O, yes; she said the other day that she didn’t think you'd ever set an ice- berg on fire.” his hand, and when asked HECEING HIMIUE: Mr, Bulcombe—Of course = a id “Plo: Little Deering has met that magnificent it Gorton girl at Goupil's, i , arise what he wanted, said, “Please argxpat (ouh a puist mint ond andi whaper) co blisind yer tee loan av this 1 couldn't; she knows. just sir, may I sit with Jimuel? packin'-case to shtand on fer a quarther, sor!” where to find me there. comicbooks.com