Judge — 1888 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NATURAL GAS FROM JUDGE. A REMINISCENCE. CARD, once white, now somewhat yellow And this I could not bear—I told her so tinted, In bitter words one summer day; T’'ve found in looking through my books; She laughed at first, and then—heigho ! The nume it bears in dainty letters printed, quarreled, and I—I went away. Is Helen Brown. How queer it looks ! Ah me! 'Tis strange, when I care not a rap I met Miss Helen Brown some years ago, For what took place so long ago, She studied art, was most ambitious, That just the sight of this wee, dingy scrap And I—well, I was badly stuck, you know, Of pasteboard could upset me so. And in my moods perhaps capricious. Especially since the card she uses now, At times I thought her love was wholly mine ; The most expensive kind in town, Again I'd note, with sad emotion, Has 'graved upon it (after all that row) That she could worship at the shrine My own distinguished name instead of Brown, Of art with just as much devotion. ¥, L, SYLVESTER. A GREAT FASHION PAPER. Wife—* Jack, did you bring home a copy of the Sunday World?” Husband—“No, by George! 1 forgot all about it.” Wife—‘ Well, I can’t go to the Watkins ball to-night then,” Husband—* Why, what has that to do with it?” Wife—“I've got to havea bustle, haven't I, stupid?” NO TIME LIKE THE PRESENT. They were on the upper deck and the weather was inclined to be rough. They were discussing benevolence. She—You know what the Bible say: “Cast thy bread upon the waters.’ ”"— He (hastily) —“Ex-excuse me, I think I'll try it now.” ‘And he rushed for the side of the vessel to see the color of the water. A MODEST REMINDER. Bobby’s mother had invited a few friends to tea, and Bobby was consequently in- structed to be on his best behavior. The conversation having become ani- mated at the table our young friend was forgotten. A few moments afterwards his A CHANGE OF SENTIMENT. Dease Ie’s wan of th’ foinest bur-r-ds iver impor-r-ted. I'd not tek tin dollars fer him thish other asked the servant for a clean plate. | minute. Cleary gev' n n down on th’ dock. It's moultin’ he is at prisint, but prisintly he'll kim “You can have mine, mamma; there ain’t out thot sh , yez'll he de yure oyes phin ye nothin’ on it,” said poor little Bobby. Parror (breaking in su ‘ith tremendous eniphasis) —**Shoot the pope |! 1" i SHE UNDERSTOOD THAT VOLAPUK. She (poking her head out of the window at 3 a.) —‘Is that you, John? He—‘ Yesh, m'dear. Wishyou’dcomedownan - findthishk’hole.” yre—Well, stop talking Volapuk and I'll be down ina minute.” HOPPING AT CONCLUSIONS. “If you think my legs eccentric, Sald the grasshopper to the bee, “And my forehead queerly pointed Where the brain-box ought to be; That my mouth has feeble motions Whence dark mysteries do exude, Please to know I once existed Asa Pythagorean dude.” MUST HAVE HIS JOKE. “Who are those silhouette valen' for?” asked Mrs, Brown, looking in a stationer’s window. “For colored people, I suppose,” chuckled the old man. NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. “T see by the new valentines that are out this A year,” remarked Merritt, ‘‘that all the poets are not dead.” “No,” replied Miss Snyder, with a grim smile, “but they should be.” comicbooks.com