Judge — 1888 — page 52: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ELLY Her eyes shone out behind the veil Drawn straight across. her dimples hiding ; The best dressed girl in Be And prettiest, I had sleig I know Jack Hill would talk such stuff, Were he but in my place a minute! And, when one hand drew out her muff, His own would promptly be within it. id I went out to-day, Tucked snugly in my littie cutter; She wore a suit of fur trimmed gray, With witching ribbon-ends to Huiter. NATURAL GAS FROM JUDGE. THE COLD SLEIGH-RIDE. We Don SENTIMENT VS. COST. ENTHUSIASTIC ADMI that they reflect the MODERN GRAMMAR. “Give the parts of do,” said the teacher. And the tailors son answered with promptness: “Do, dude, dun, past participle, don't—get it.” HIS FIRST VISIT. Squire Oatcake (of Podunk)—"See here, I don’t think you hotel folks are treatin’ me half right.” Hotel clerk —“*Why, what's the matter now?” Oatcake—* Didn't I sign my name good an’ big on your register when 1 came here?” Clerk—* Yes.” Oatcake—“ And didn’t I tell ye I was a justice o’ the peace in Way- back county?” Clerk—"Y Oatcake—* Then why in thunder haven’t some o’ your New York papers said somethin’ about my comin’? We allus do that when your folks come to our taown.” ST PATRICK'S DAY. Teacher—" Herbert, you may tell me, if you can, why March 17th is called St. Patrick's day?” Herber!—*So’s the irish can have a chance to hurrah.” Whip de bigges’ man in a crowd an’ de oddahs ah yo! suvants. rest! I could ir Luna as she sinks behind ¢ in those 3 But it suddenly flashed over his mind that his boat cost him fifty cents an hour, and that he had been out nearly three hours! The dea cs all night. Those beautiful orbs are so bright Her smile was sweet, her cheek was red ; We passed through several tollgates lonely, But not a tender word was said ; Lasked about the soapstone only. fared the drifts in lovers’ lane, She clasped my arm and very tightly ; Iset her in her place again, ‘And wrapped the robe ‘round her politely. rest thing, of course! but I think of that, someway or other ; If Lam cold she is not shy But then, you s . Tm Nelly’s brother. ON THE NAHANT ROCKS. Mr. Brewer-Brewer (getting in a little Browning business after the picnic-basket has been broach- ed) — ¢ how the sunbeams catch that facet in your claret- glass, Miss Fanshaw.” Miss Fanshaw —(Bangor, Maine) —‘ For the land's sake! Pick it out, won’t you, Mr. Bruin? I hate insec’s.” A MODERN KNIGHT. She —“Ah. John! before we were married you were always wishing you were one of the knights of old, so you might show your devotion; and now” He—“Great heavens, Maria! did you ever hear of one of those old chivalry fellows jumping up from his paper to chop wood?” HIS NIGHT-CAPS. First Kentucky wife—* What kind of night-caps does your husband use, Mrs. Vivant?” Second Kentucky wife —* Bour- bon trimmed with real sugar, Mrs. Ransom.” UTTERLY UNSYMPATHETIC. Tramp—*Can’t you help me to get a night's lodging, sir? I haven’t seen a bed for three nights!” Wiggins—* The deuce ! If youcan afford a spree of that length you're better fixed than I am.” SHE WANTED TO KNOW. Mrs. Pheim—*\ understand your father is writing an autobiography, Jane?” Mrs. Laflin—* Yes ; it’s going to be a very interesting book. You mustn’t make it public, though.” Mrs, Phelim—* Certainly not, Jane; but do you know I’m perfectly crazy to know whose autobiography it is.” NO HOPE FOR PROGNOSTICS. Bagley—* Here's the story of how the Dakota people killed the weather prophet who said the spring would be very early this year.” Bailgy—* Humph! He ought to have been killed.” Bagley—And here is the predic- tion of a New Jersey man for four feet of snow on the first of May.” Bailey—“ Well, he will get killed.” TOO SOON. “What do you think of divorce?” asked some one of a young girl. “Oh I don’t know. I hadn't thought of getting married yet.” De place toe set de trap am where de weazel caught de chicken. comicbooks.com