Judge, 1888 · page 31 of 72
Judge — 1888 — page 31: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from the satirical magazine *Judge* contains several unrelated humor pieces typical of the publication's format. The main content includes: 1. **"My Second Cousin Emily"** — A sentimental poem about a man's romantic relationship with his cousin, mocking Victorian-era sentimentality and the social complications of cousin romance. 2. **Street car cartoon** — Depicts a woman attempting to hail a street car, satirizing how women of the era struggled to get taxi drivers' attention, showing the vehicle passing by repeatedly before finally stopping. 3. **"Literary Pursuits"** — Jokes about a man claiming "literary work" when he's merely helping count words in a newspaper article, mocking pretentiousness. 4. **Minor jokes** about generosity, a hatching machine, and what appears to be a racial caricature at a dinner club (the "Mistah Breck'ridge" reference). The page reflects *Judge's* focus on social observation humor, Victorian courtship customs, gender dynamics, and class commentary typical of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
NATURAL GAS FROM JUDGE. I met her in the summer by the loud- resounding sea, And I thought it quite peculiar she should waste her time on When I begged an expla devoutly bowed her head : “1 will tell you—you're a fellow after my own heart,” she said, tion she Tassumed the post of suitor as I thought it not a sin, To have her think me more than kind, a little less of kin, For the fellowship of cousins, if they be of different sex, Has forever Leen a trouble and I fear “twill ever vex. T read to her from Byron in a tent pitched ‘on the sand ; With the freedom of relationship I often pressed her hand ; Orin a creaky, rattling gig we joggled thro’ the lanes, While my sweetest of divinities shook out the leather reins. Till at last I looked upon her as a very ip with cousins, if I recalled to my remembrance from some closet of my head, “You're a fellow after my own heart,” the pretty witch had said, So I narshalled all my {celings in a sentimental way, And I quoted the expression to my second-cousin M: But a neater, cooler answer mortal man “You stil/are afte A CHAMPION INDEED. City merchant—‘No the people in your town take any interest in athletics, Mr. Brown?” Mfr. Brown (a coal-dealer)—“ Oh, yes.” City merchant—‘*What branch of athletics do you follow?” Mr. Brown (unconsciously) —* 1 am the champion light weight.” THE ONE THING NEEDFUL. Book agent—'*1 have some fine large family bibles, mum, Id like to show you. The print is very large.” ‘ung woman—‘“ Never mind about the print; if theyre big , enough to press the autumn leaves THe ar three blocks away. The car twoblocks away. ‘The car one block away. I'll take one.” ‘The car passing. Gentle reader, did you ever notice one of the gentler sex hailing a street car? on Broadway one day last week. The car stopping. Our artist sketched the above LITERARY PURSUITS. Cholly—" You look tired, old fel’; whatcher been doing ?” Dolly (briefly) —"' Literary work.” Cholly (surprisedly)—* Don't say! What branch, old man?” Dolly—" Well, you see, I know a man who writes for papers, and this morning he asked me to help him count the words in an article he was going to send down town. Mighty hard work, Tassure you. Almost as hard as writing, don‘tcherknow !” Year Drink THE SOUL OF GENEROSITY. A loving young couple, “Well, my dear, what shall I give you for your birthday ?” “«T'm sure, dear, I can’t tell.” “Well, then, I'li give you—a year to decide in.” A PROBLEM. Master Bobby’s papa is the happy owner of a hatching machine. The other day, as the former was watching a chick energetic: ally breaking its way through its shell, he inquired : *«T see how he gets out, but however did he go to work to get in?” AT THE CATERERS’ CLUB DINNER. (Sectional View.) Mr. PAULSIN—“+You'll 'xcuse me, Mistah Breck’ridge—da's my grape-jooce!” comicbooks.com