Judge — 1888 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NATURAL GAS FROM JUDGE. ALL DEVOTED TO HIM. At the ball. Mr. Ransom (of New York) — “Those are pretty colors you wear, Miss Faneuil. Are they Harvard's?” Miss Faneuil (of B ton—“ No, Sullivan A NEW COMPLAINT. Old Mr. Bentley — “What was the cause of Tailor Jackson's death; did you hear?” Old’ Mrs. Bentley — “Delirium trimmings, I believe. THE CAUSE OF IT. FJagley — “Wondah why that fellaw Wig- gins has such a blaws- ted cold hand. Weally, it's just like a dog’s nozzle.” Boggs —“ All the fault of his dwess, me boy; wears his collahs so awfully tight the blood cawn’t get any lower than his chin.” BADLY AFFLICTED. BEAUFORT. (coming home at sunrise) —“Shlill up m’ dearsh? Glad t’ see (hic-gh-gl-hic). Shnake that long, fol'l'd me all waysh_ = The poor man sees none of the incon- Mrs. Beauronre. (calmly)—**Why didn’t you ask the snake in to breakfast?” VEnighGes OF Hees. Bravrorte—* Did ashk'm. Had p-prevfous engagementsh with Tom Meeker, Tom'sh drunker'n Lam, (Gglgl-hic.) Shee?” ONE WAY OF COOLING OFF. SIGNS OF SUMMER. A traveler who had just returned from Africa was questioned He—Isn't the country looking lovely these days, Miss by his friends as to the means used in that country to escape Emeline? The growing grass and the budding trees give from the terrible heat. evidences of approaching summer.” “Yes,” he replied, “ we have to avail ourselves of every pos: Ske—* Yes, indeed; and pa has already got a new front sible protection against the weather. Sometimes a coolness arises between friends; and, one can occasionally take refuge under the shadow ofasuspicion.” ON A STREET CAR. Griggs—* What on earth is the matter with the lady over there? Has she the St. Vitus dance?” Briggs—“O, no; she’s just trying to put ona pair of new gloves.” “THUS CONSCIENCE DOTH MAKE COWARDS OF US ALL.” Tramp— Here's a pie I stole off yer windy, mum. I want to bring it back.” Housekeeper—" Well, I’m glad you've got some conscience.” Tramp—*Yes'm. I'm tough, but I don’t dare to eat a strange mince pie. You say he has no heart; he but dissembles ; Startle him once, and look you how it trembles. HE HAD BEEN CREMATED: Fair feminine friend —* What have you in that urn on the | Youxa Sumxeis—“I've been longing to ask you a question, Mizpah. Do you think you could care enough for my mantelpiece, Jane — ashes of happiness to”—— nee ree J VOICE FROM SPEAKING-TUBE—" The collector's here from the milliner’s, Mizzy. I've given him two hundred on Widew—*" ,» account, and the other eight hundred can stand till next month.” low—* No, ashes of John! SHEKELS (continuing guestion)—** Go to Harrigan’s with me to-morrow night?” comicbooks.com