Judge — 1888 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NATURAL GAS FROM JUDGE. AN INTERRUPTED BETROTHAL. Everybody said they would have made such a thoroughly suited couple if —- that canker-worm had only minded its own bnsiness. A PROFESSIONAL DEBATE. Scene—Mrs. Painter Verboeckhoven’s Salon. - The hostess (plumping right through the ice)—“ You don't know how we enjoyed the intimate-friends’ view of Mr. Behnes's ‘Indian woman chasing @ coyote,’ my dea Chorus— It was just too immaculately sweet for anything!” Mrs, Sculplor Beines—" And how just too irreproachably saccharine for you all to say so.” Bekhnes (under his breath)—“ It's spread pretty thick, but it's got to go, I suppose.’ Mrs, Banker Owrard—* Now that you speak of kyoties” (and Mrs. Verboeckhoven had to inwardly admit that she had pro- nounced it in that groove), “ have any of you seen Doctor Chesel- den’s charming preparation of Captain Cook’s wife’s. mummy from Honolulu?” Mfrs. Doctor Cheselden (promptly) —‘“T have.” Chorus —" Did you bring it?” Mr. Doctor Cheselden (from way down in his depths)--“ Wonder if that’s a slur on the old lady's ap- pearance.” Mrs. Lawyer Phillimore {stepping into the breach with an interrupt- ing torpedo)—“ O-o-h!” Chorus—* Why, what is the mat tah?” Mrs. Lawyer Phillimore—" I've thought of a conundrum * Chorus (augmented by mascu- line voices)— ‘ How nice! What is it?” Mrs. Lawyer Phillimore—* What f did Captain Cook?’ Mr, Architect Hitorff (from the stern of the room, and speaking & feebly)—“ Rats.” Mrs, Architect Hitorff (who has craned forward far enough to see his mouth move)—* Isn't Claude witty?” Chorus —"“ We haven't read it for so long, you know.” Mrs, Astronomer Albumazar—* | so much prefer ‘Lucille’ to such ‘ash as ‘Claude Duval,’ don’t you, Mrs. Verboeckhoven?” Mr. Astronomer Albumazar (hiss ing)—* It's too bad for her te gimme away like that after all I've learned her of Dumas!” Mas. R.—"Ah, s! that youn} Van Hee Occastos. Mrs. Banker Ouvrard—* William |” Mr. Banker Owsrard (who has had to be pulled away from the sherry-and-bitters in the Verboeckhoven den)—* Y. Mrs. Banker Ouvrard—* Mrs. Verboeckhoven requests that you give an imitation of King Charles being led to execution ” (Mr. Banker Ouvrard lurches out of the room in a fever of bibulous rage). Chorus—** How wonderfully true to life!” Mr, Architect Hittorff (in the shadow of a thought, and signifi- cantly) —“ Sui life.” The Buller — Supper is served, me leddy.” Chorus—* Frov, Frou, FRUE—frou, frou—frue—f— (And the portiere fell to again leaving the room in silence and—) A reception. HASTY COMMENT. Why, Major Hunt, isn’t that Miss Magnus-Lucre?” hat was her name, I believe.” married then; and pray do tell me what narrow-brained, simperiny idiot could have married “You refer to the clergyman who performed the ceremony, I presume. as Lam her husband.” comicbooks.com