Judge — 1888 — page 80: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

4 CHESTNUTS FROM JUDGE. BASE-BALL SLANG. A few days ago an enthusiastic player of what is called the “na- & tional game” favore? me with a few sarcastic remarks because I asked for a definition of some ex- pressions he used in explaining about a game he was greatly in- terested in, and he quietly satdown upon me’ by saying that if a woman of average intelligence couldn’t understand what he was talking about, he could only sug- gest that she should consult the columns of some daily paper in quest of the knowledge she evi- dently was deficient in. I did so, and this is what I found in one brief paragraph only. And I re- spectlully submit this question to any one who reads this clipping follow that if a woman cannot comprehend the mysteries contained in this description of a game she is devoid of even average in- telligence: “«Burs planted his number nines firmly beside the plate and, after two strikes had been calledon him, caught the ball squarely on the nose and reached third base before the Westerbury fielders could recover the leather. Coogan’s single brought Burns home, and the first of the two runs was eamed for the Little Giants. Coogan was cleverly thrown out while trying to steal second, and Tucker fell an easy victim at first. Wheeler and McLaughlin died at Tucker's hands, and Mansell struck out. Annis went out at first, Trott’s fly to Battin stopped his base-running for a time, and Smith followed Annis’s example at first. Knowlton found out how it was himself, and fanned the air three times with his bat. Greenwood put onein McLaughlin's pocket; Burns hit safely, but Coogan’s fly to Man- sell left him on base. Smith captured Hig- gins’s high one and Battin and Hughes struck out.” Now what I want to know is this: Why do they use a plate when playing ball and what do they dowithit? Do they use china or tin? Did Burns catch the ball on the ball's nose, or did the ball catch Burns on Burns’s nose? What kind of leather did the Westerbury fielders recover, and what were ADOWN THE STREAM. Adown the stream we idly glide, But not alone, for at my side, Peeps laughing Love, the rosy elf, She has a Croesus store of pelf. No cause to hate her for a bride, In fact, I feel quite satisfied; Her gildings seal not oroide, That she is Sevres ’stead of Delf, Adown the stream. I pop on this poetic side, She looks at me all wonder-eyed; Iswear I love her for herself, And yet I'm placed upon the shelf. She answers no—my suit's denied, Adown the stream. E.D.P Y. Ochre has walked four miles to finish up the group of rocks he began on yester- day. He has but to-day to finish i --the rocks, we mean. , and is trying to figure out some plan by which he can get that confounded Sunday-school pic- ic away, So as to have a “shot at them” the Westerbury fielders, anyway? What sort of thing was the “single” that Coogan used to bring Burns home with, and couldn’t 7 Se “I s’hay, Mister; let’sh have a dollar on thish, will yer? I'll take it out agin at the end of the month.” Bums have gone home without it? If Wheeler and McLaughlin died at Tucker's hands, could not the latter have been arrested for murder? How did Knowlton find out how it was hiinself, and why did he fan the | air with his bat? How could a fly stop a man from running, and what did Greenwood put one of in McLaughlin’s pocket?) What did Tucker fall an easy victim to, and was it not absurd for Coogan to try to steal when | there were so many people around? What was Higgins’s “high one,” and when Battin and Hughes struck out who did they hit? These are some of the questions I asked my friend, and to me they do not seem so very absurd. Marie Fraacke. THE GRIP OF THE PRIEST. Broxer (casually) — It is the women who keep religion alive in this world, and what a wonderfully strong hold the clergy seem to have on them.” Friexp (agnostically)—‘*Yes, my boy; and when there’s nobody near, the hold is always around the waist.” To get the full effect of Maggie Mitchell's youthful freshness and beauty, please look | through the small end of your opera glass. | Princess Isabeau recently inherited | $1,000,000. The Princess Isabeau ideal of | agirl. A Glear and Fresh Complexion To retain, 1,000 testimion’ CHEMIST, in or induce it, use ARSENIC COMPLEXION WAFERS; over as to efficiency and perfect safety. 346 West 16th Street, New York. By mail, $1.00. To be had only of “ENGEISH comicbooks.com