Judge — 1888 — page 62: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CHESTNUTS FROM JUDGE. ca 1 fer g tet ae ree ne ums, ih you On pags yee Imagine ms a writer | caepTepeent reed Yo wi =rhin je id wear these placards,oh: y . TAS Se BIS ANE-WR kine onset Ab yes, bm sere disheartened !- vale He im inept ahs Loe, If sa ye God eR F fs Wore Fis pace chen’ Wibck. “J gust of wind which played the deuce with Cora’s dress. the con- sequence was that Mr. Merritt saw alittle bit of sister's new tan-col- ored stocking. Cora came run- ning down stairs with tears in her eyes, and told ma how she would never dare to face Mr. Merritt again. Within a week they were as thick as ever, and yesterday they went down to Coney Island. I went, too. Of course, Cora wanted to go into the water, and 1 tell you her bathing suit was a stunner—something like those the Sun publishes. Now, Mr. Editor, this is what I want to know. Of course girls are queer things, but why was Cora so shocked at Mr. Merritt seeing a couple of inches of her stocking when together on the stoop, while a few days after- ward she showed her whole leg to any one who wanted to see it? ‘This is the best conundrum you ever published. (2). There is a sheeney on our block who keeps a second-hand clothing store. You know what I mean by that? He doesn't keep the clothes in his store until they become second-hand, but he buys old duds and fixes them over to sell. Now, when he sells anything he swears by Abraham that he gives it away for nothing; and when he buys anything he again swears by Abraham that he gives a hundred per cent. more for it than ‘ou could get anywhere else. Mr. itor, how can he do this and still LITTLE JOHNNY HEARD FROM. Mr. Eprtor: I want to ask the Jupce a few questions, as I guess he knows more than any one else. But these are posers, these are; as I have already asked a num- ber of people who wouldn't, or couldn’t, give me an answer. (1). The other evening Sister Cora and Mr. Merritt (that’s her beau) were sitting on the front stoop, when there came a sudden make money? If you can answer these questions, Mr. Juer, I have a couvle of harder ones togive you next time. Litre Jouxny. OLD CHOCOLATE’S TARGET PRACTICE. De man wat kin borry in one naborhood fo’ long mus’ do a heap ob lyin’. Honesty or no, hit am pleasantest toe pass a po’ coin dan toe find one in yo’ change. Cholly wasn’t particularly warm on that early Spring day, after leaving his over- coat at his aunt’s husband's, but he was a great deal warmer than he looked. Use am ob mo’ count dan value some- times. Yo’ might bettah be a o'nary cobble in a po’ piece ob pavement dan a undiskiv ered di'mon in de bowels ob de ‘ath. Education am ob use toe de mos’ ’umble. W’at ud a han’ organ man do wid a mon- key dat cudn’ ’stinguish ‘tween a cent and a button. Hit doan’ satisfy me dat de pusson w'at steals my chickens goes toe de penetench- ery ‘less I git de fowls back. Cackle, chickens, wha yo’ please ez long Cae lay at home, ar er some men dat ud grum'le ef da cud pick ready-made shirts offen cotton- wood trees. J. A. Watpron. SPRING PLOWING. wis tre, 4x West 26th Street, New York. © $2.50 per Day. _sf Turkish, Electric and Roman Baths, and Massage. Send for Circulars. MILLERS HOTEL, > * comicbooks.com