Judge — 1888 — page 39: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CHESTNUTS FROM JUDGE. OH, FOR A MAN. BY M. C. HUNGERFORD. H, fora man! theclear voice sang, |And thro’ the church the echo rang. (Oh, for a man! she sang again— How could such sweet- ness plead in vain? The bad boys grinned across the aisles, The deacons’ frowns were changed to smiles, The singer's check turned deepest pink, At base and tenor’s wicked wink. The girls that bore the alto Then took the strain with all their heart: Oh, for a man, aman, a man— And then the full voiced choir began To sing with all their might and main The finis to the girl's refrain: Oh, for a mansion in the skies, A man—a mansion in the skies. The Language of Flowers, Poor Charlie sighed and said, “My favorite flower, my dear, is the forget-me-not.” “And mine,” she said, “is mari-gold,” and then poor Charlie knew the yame was up, and got. A talk by Professor Sumner to the New Haven Socialists resulted, at the ensuing election, in a challenge of the Professor for being a repeater. Bismarck’s doctors say that his digestive machinery is shamefully out of order; but we dare say he can get away with a Rose- bery all the same as with a Salisbury. The Pope sent Bismarck the Order of Christ. Ten to one that the masterful Ger- man won't obey it A HORSE OF ANOTHER COLOR. “T have a very fineengraving of ‘The Greek Slave,’” said a subscriber to the editor of a religious paper, “which I think would make a splendid illustra- tion for your front page.” ««But,” interposed the editor, dubiously shaking his head, “ours is a religious paper, and this picture is the nude figure of a female.” “What of that!” exclaimed the gentleman, with evident signs of anger. “This statue is one of the finest works of art ever produced by the genius of man, ‘*I don’t know anything about that,” replied the ly man; “but these works of art are penerally indecent. However,” e added, in a milder tone, ‘‘if| you are so anxious to have it published, we can, of course, insert it for you in the shape of acorset or soap advertisement.” If youcut your nailsorsneeze on Saturday you do it for evil. This ought to be an awful warn- ing for people not to cut their sneeze on this day. watch?” Srreet Aras—*Get out! I reached it.” NATURAL PROTECTION. Otp Party—‘ Here, are you trying to get at my I'd die of fatigue before Stub your right toe, you are going where you are wanted; your left, where you are not wanted; both, and you will go where you don’t want to—on the ground. This seldom fails. Boat races are coming into market early this Summer. Several will be offered for sale this month, Tempgrance Revivatist (to the reformed one)—“Brother, do you know what the nature of this pledge is?” Rerormen Onz—“ Well, boss, I ought to. you fellows for the last thirty years.” I have been signing these pledges for BRIEFS SUBMITTED. BY JAMES J. O'CONNELL, It is the pugilist who knuckles down to his work. A conductor is like an auctioneer—they both knock down for a living. A young man in Detroit calls his girl “Opportunity,” because she is so nice to embrace. Much of Walt Whitman's earl: seems to have been ground out smut machine. The reason musicians are generally in such poor circumstances is because they are always blowing it in. Courtney has at last rowed a square race It is a wonder that the seams in his boat didn’t give him a stitch in the side. Jinks, who left his girl somewhat hurried- ly, the other night, says that the daughter's little foot doesn’t compensate for the old man’s big one. Auctionger (to Sheriff)—‘‘ The best bid I can get for the property is one thousand dollars. What shall I do?” Suerirr—“ That will hardly cover my fees; but sooner than have any trouble about such a small matter you had better knock it down at that.” ‘“‘What are all the people looking at?” asked a pious old lady as she sat on the deck of an ocean steamer coming up the bay. “They say there’s a whistling buoy in the water,” remarked her little son; ‘can't I take sister over to see?” “ Wait a moment, my dear, till your mother finds out whether he has a bathing suit on.” Who Cain’s wife was is a question that has caused a great deal of argument in theological circles. Probably Cain remem- bered that it was not till Adam had awakened from a deep sleep that he found a wife awaiting him, so it is very ely, that the son followed in the footsteps of hi father, for does not even the Bible say that Cain went into the land of Nod for a poetry rough a wife? MILLER’S HOTEL, 39 & 4x West 26th Street, New York. $2.50 per Day. sf Turkish, Electric and Roman Baths, and Massage. %_. Bend for Circulars. comicbooks.com