Judge — 1888 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CHESTNU TS FROM JUDGE. 19 “ Asageneral thing the vitality of woman | compares favorably with that of man.” As | a particular thing, we have noticed that widows invariably survive their husbands. A disgusted citizen indignantly wants to know, “ After all, what is the difference be- | tween a Democratic administration and a Republican administration?” Twenty-four | years, French Traveler (inclined to be social)— “Without doubt, monsieur has great deal | traveled, but can you tell in hearing a man | swear of what nation he is?” And the surly | Briton answered “ Damnation,” | A STANDING OFFER, Two of the White Mountain hotels have decided not to have student waiters this Summer ; so we suppose the meals to be had at them will be in one language and without italics. An exchange tells how to select a melon. | The information is of no good. Not a word is said in it as to the manners and customs of the dog. | “EVERYTHING COMES TO HIM WHO WAITS.” “This is Depew?” said the colored usher = of an uptown church inquiringly to Chaun- BY WILUELM STRAUSS, | cey M., pausing in his march up the aisle. | “That's what they call me,” was the short response; “what of it, sir?” “Very snap- pish man dat,” said’ the usher, moving briskly away; “nex’ time I luff ‘im take | his Chaunceys.” DOSE MOTTO SONGS—NUMBER ONE. A NEW DESIGN. Wait for the Froth, Ind der sbringdime of mine shildhood Tlearn me somedings nice Fon fadder’s great oxperience Unt boetical advice. Says he, “Now, Jakey, lisden, i y dear; settled Else you blows avay some peer.”” THE BUTTERFLY MASK. Dose broverbs safes me drouples Flicgende Blactter In dose pizness vat I got; : Some under fellers speculate Unt rush along red hot. Ven shtocks is oop unt bonds is down It makes no diffrence h 1 vaits till der froth is settled Unt I biows avay no peer. “Stop talking nonsense and leam to cook,” says Kate Field to the women of the period. A capital idea. When does Miss Field propose to commence? M citement boliti Bees, fit dem oxcitement bolitics, A TIMELY EXCUSE. Dem speeches, songs and dings, +0, Jakey, come and join dot gang Unt bust dem v 0, Jakey, coum, Tshlides oud on n I vaits till der froth is settled Aber I blows avay some peer. I meets a nice young fraulein Oop on der Powery street She vinks on me, I vinks on'her, Tdell you she look shveet. I dinks about dat broverb, Unt says, “Good night, my tear; Yoost vait till der froth is settled Else you blows avay some peer. * I don'd got marriet lately Aber P-got a shance, A frow must know some under ding Pesides to flirt unt dance. Dose bustles unt golupt Vas alla fraud. I fear ; Petter I vait till der froth is gone Else I blows avay gout peer. us forms, all you fast you Dot geeps it oop so late, Petter you take dot broverb. Unt shtrike a shlower gait. Else you shtumble a coffin ofer Unt fall ina grave. I feat Go shlow till der froth is settled Else you blows avay goot peer. fellers, WHY SHE CAN DO IT. Sue (boastingly)—“I can dress in ten minutes.” He (unfeelingly)—* Yes, my dear; but | you must remember that you belong to a| Wartixc Wire—t Now you just thought comic opera compan: | you'd sneak up stairs with your shoes in your hand, so’s I wouldn't know what time “This way, Rev. Sam Jones !” exclaims | you got home, but” — | the Kingston Freeman. We are glad to ob Surprised Huspanp (interrupting)—“ No | serve that the editor of the Freeman has | no, my deur; ye see the car men all struck | finally come to a realizing sense of his con | and the walk home blistered my feet so 1 | dition. had to take ’em off.” MILLER’S HOTEL 39 & 41 West 26th Street, New York. $2.50 per Day. ’ —s¢ Turkish, Electric and Roman Baths, and Massage. %_ Send for Circulars. comicbooks.com