Judge, 1888 · page 10 of 87
Judge — 1888 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page contains satirical commentary on nostalgia and modern life problems. **"An Eye to Business"** mocks a beer saloon proprietor who, seeing struggling bathers signaling for help, cynically interprets their distress as potential customers ordering "two beers." **"The Joy of the Returned"** is a poem celebrating a boarder's escape from rural life—mocking both rural hardships (greasy eggs, farm animals, aggressive hired hands) and the relief of returning to urban comforts, particularly beer. **"Good Old Times"** presents six scenes ironically titled to contrast past conditions with present improvements: no business competition, no deadly coal gas, better-ventilated houses, faster mail, safer lighting, and abundant food. The satire suggests these "good old times" were actually worse—the opposite message of typical nostalgia. The page concludes with an advertisement for "Arsenic Complexion Wafers," a skin treatment containing arsenic—revealing the era's dangerous, unregulated patent medicines.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
CHESTNUTS FROM JUDGE. AN EYE TO BUSINESS. (Struggling bathers making signals for aid.) Proprtetor or Beer Satoon—‘‘Two Biers?” THE JOY OF THE RETURNED. Now sinks the golden sun below the bar,— Roseate horizon glimm’ring in the west ; Now wends the weary boarder homeward far, Beyond all tantalizing or molest. : No more the rural egg in pan of grease Three times per day will tempt his appetite ; No more in friendly tree he'll scek release From bovine gentleman in rapid flight. lights afar they beckon him © some soft traces of delightful chcer, , faint upon his tym-pa-num’s brim Falla the sweet gurgle of the lager beer. yeadow grass, it is del enty of pesky ants and st “N. B.—No passage o'er this thoroughfare,” Rudely at every hand your vision wakes. The hired girl was very wroth indeed, hired man more wroth, alas! was h In fisticuffs he made your nostrils bleed, Because, alack! you tried to flirt with'she. Surrounded now by comforts of sweet home —Mine is the quiet of the bach'lor hall— When once you're there you'll swear you'll never roam To rural landlord with effusive gall. H. S. Ketter. NO COMPETITION IN TRADE. THR FAST MAIL CARRIER. NON-EXPLOSIVE LIGHTS. AIR-TIGHT AND ILL-VENTILATED HOUSES WERE UNKNOWN. AS FOR FOOD, THE WOODS WERE FULL OF IT, KLES, MOTH, BLACK-MBADS, PIMPLES, The onty real beautifier of the complexion, skin and form. These Wafers are specially compounded by an experienced physician and chemist, perfectly sare if used as directed, and macicat in effect: J}, YoiGan RtovEss, ROUGH, YaLiow or “uupoY™ setts. and other facial disfigurements are permanenily removed and a dell: ‘clously cuzAx comruexion and “rounding up” of angular forms insured. To be had oxty of JAS. P. CAMPBELL, M.D, 148 West s6th Street, New York. comicbooks.com