Judge, 1888-12-29 · page 4 of 19
Judge — December 29, 1888 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"The Crush of Washington Society"** satirizes the pretensions of Washington's elite social circles. Mrs. De Vreeper complains about a Chinese embassy dinner where guests were served so carelessly that soup was spilled in her lap rather than properly plated—a joke mocking both the supposed sophistication of diplomatic functions and the implied clumsiness of Chinese hosts (reflecting period racial stereotypes). **"A Grievous Blunder"** depicts a church choir mishap: pranksters swap a hymn-book for a poker guide. The near-sighted choir leader Mr. Honker unknowingly reads nonsensical text ("royal-flush-ef-greed") aloud while the congregation sings gibberish to the tune of "North Hampton," creating comic chaos. **"He Cannot Come"** references Colonel Shepard (likely a Democratic politician), noting Judge magazine won't hire him as a writer despite his abilities, because he's perpetually aggressive about wanting conflict. **"Proven to the Contrary"** shows Irish servants discussing a wine basket—the punchline being milk was poured into it instead, undermining any claims of sophistication.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE CRUSH OF WASHINGTON SOCIETY. Mrs. De Vrreper—"* What's on for to-night, Peddringham Mk. De Vreepex—" Why, that dinner at the Chinese legation. Aren't you going ?” . . Ms. De Vareper—"'T think not, At the last one, you know, they were so extremely hospitable that they served my soup in my lap instead of a plate. '(OUS_ BLUNDER. SOME of the boys got into the vestry a night or two ago, and abstracting the hymn-book from the class-leader’s rack left_a copy of “Schenck's Poker” in its place. Mr. Honker led the singing at the rehearsal the next evening, and Mr. Honker was near-sighted and had lost the windows out of his glasses. He ascended the platform, deposited his hat and umbrella where he could keep an eye on them, and approached the tem= porary rostrum. “ Brewveren,” he began, ““d" las’ time we met dat jubilee song sounded laik a fog-whissle gone wrong. We'll try him agin, You'll fin’ d° words on d’ fo't secun’ page ob d’ book. T'll read d’ fust line en yo" kim in wid d’ music, I'll say jes” heah dat if Saul Clumpah p’poses t’ sing bass he kin go out befo’ d’ anthim beguns, Now den!” and he opened the book close to his eyes and read y : —flush—ef—‘greed— on—befo'—d'—game—c igh. About one in ten of the assembly had a book and the other nine belched out at the top of their lungs, “A roy-al fl-u-u-ush ef gre-ce-d on be-fo' d’ ga-a-ame counts hi-i-i-gh!” to the tune of North Hampton, with variations, Mr. Honker looked around wildly for a moment and fell out of the window back of the parlor organ. HE CANNOT COME. Colonel Shepard was never funnier than the other on the Democratic party. Tt is surprising that 20 able a pablisheras Major Arwell the Jence docs not engage Colonel Shepard as a spacewriter. The colonel’s ulti matum had the amusing effect of patting a new pair of legs under one of the old Commodore Vanderbilt stories and sending it around to make another bow to. all the company. Life No, the JUDGE cannot engage Colonel Shepard. He is atruly able man, but it is not pleasant to have a man around who is con- tinually talking war and wanting to lick somebody. PROVEN TO THE CONTRARY. ELinorant—* Wasn't it you'se thot wor tellin’ me thot wine kem in thot bashket 7” Then, be th’ powers! you'se med a mishtake, {'r Oi jist poured in a couple 0° quarts o' milk an’ ivery dhrop laked out. comicbooks.com