Judge, 1888-12-29 · page 3 of 19
Judge — December 29, 1888 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge contains several satirical pieces mocking contemporary issues: **"Two Sides to That Question"** critiques the legal system's inconsistency: while courts spend resources defending murderers on appeal, a lynch mob in Birmingham, Alabama killed nine people. The satire targets legal delays that enable criminals to escape justice. **"Every Evidence of It"** is a drinking joke: Miss Gutless notes her father looks sad "full of spirits," while Mr. Rounder quips he'll soon be actually drunk—playing on "spirits" (liquor) versus emotional state. **"No Reform Possible"** complains that author Mary Darmesteter received only $500 for 100,000 copies sold due to book piracy on both sides of the Atlantic, yet Congress/Parliament ignore literary theft. **"Christmas Present Next Year"** satirizes Ferdinand de Lesseps' failing Panama Canal venture, predicting French investors will lose money when it collapses. The remaining items mock miserly parents withholding Christmas gifts and suggest William Gladstone as "Santa Claus for Ireland" (unclear reference).
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
TWO SIDES TO THAT QUESTION. F THE LAW took half the pains to hang murderers that it does to save them there would never bg such riots as the one in Birmingham, Ala., which resulted in the killing of nine EVERY EVIDENCE OF IT. Miss Guttess (gazing fondly at her father through the dining-room deor)— “Dear me! How sad pa looks!" ‘To look at him, Mr. Rounder, you would never suspect him to be full of spirits, would you?" Mr. Rouner (criticall)—* Well, no, not exactly full yet, but he will be very shortly.” NO REFORM POSSIBLE. HE AUTHOR of «Robert Elsmere” complains that she has received only $500 for the 100,000 copies of her work sold in this country. This piracy of books on both sides of the water i eanest of all robbery, and yet neither parliament nor congress has any time to attend to it. To be a “dam literary feller” is to have no rights under the law. innocent men and saved the life of the man who had murdered his wife and two children. The law is responsible for the deaths of these nine men—the criminal law, which uses recklessly the money of taxpayers to save the lives of criminals whom it knows ought to be hanged. CHRISTMAS PRESENT NEXT YEAR. S has managed to scrape to- gether enough money to go on with his Panama canal a few months more. ‘Then will come the inevitable crash, and the people of France will be so enraged at their government that they will be at least half inclined to overturn it, while there will be no place in France so sequestered as to be safe for the old Frenchman. Per- haps then some means may be taken by the people of this continent to complete the enterprise; but the present stockholders will be lucky if they get back five per cent. of the money they have ventured. THAT BOY AND THAT GIRL. F ANY CHILD gets up on Christmas morning to find an empty stocking, he will feel as bad for a time as the man who carries an empty sleeve, and the men and women nearest him will be so guilty that they ought never to be forgiven. Bear that in mind, ye miserly grown-up wretches. HE T SANTA CLAUS for Ire- land—William E. Gladstone. Mr. Reepiey—" I'm afr Miss Jaronica h A CONVENIENT BUFFER. 1 to take my ulster off for fear somebody might steal tching his attempts at skating)—And, then, must be awfully comfortable when you—ahem !—er—sit down.