Judge — December 22, 1888 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE THE REVISED BOOK OF JOB. SOME BLANK was a man in the land of Way- VERSE. . whose name was Job, and he ¢ +A HITLIN? Waal, kept a printing-office and he also pub- —What'm taunins lished a weekly newspaper. Not so pow'ful much t day: And over the outer door of his house Takin’ t kind "reasy like. he hung a shingle whereon there were in- 2s {ends "Sever see a scribed these words, “ Job Printin, Squar' th circle? And his substance was much cord- Don't know how ’t's done? wood and corn and beans, and many large Git out! Yer foolin’. eggs and pumpkins and sour apples and Come yere. Git a soft an’ pot-cheeses, and a very great variety of — straightgrained chunk 'r other products of the land all about and —_ White-wood: knife "ll cut 5 : iu thet’s been pryin’ nails. animals thereon, And there was to him a need of many things “pace mranner Glas? that he had not at all, “Yer don't need glass ter And it was so, when the days were gone about during which his sub- _>s6fpe it if yer handy. What‘ I drivin’ at? scribers had received their papers, and they came not to pay just tribute Sher child, Reve ahe tried for what they had taken unto themselves, that Job communed with him- “Yer git—she dida’t. steal self and thus unto himself spake : : it-tried ter git a squar'- Lo! Have I not toiled all this time that the people of Wayback | S284 ie oem rahe might be enlightened by that which I printed in my paper?° And should. kitenen stove through th, not they render unto me now that svhich is my just due ? ; kiver. And having thusly queried unto himself, he’ thus made’ answer, saying: Verily now, they should; for there are many things which are jooks on the bright not to my houschold. My children’s feet are bare, and covered with side of life, and we all stone-bruises: from walking up and down upon the earth: with noth- know how he fares. ing to cover the nakedness of their feet: and she that is my wife is — tattered as to her garments, and there is to me a need of a new overcoat, and there is to all my family need of many things. Verily therefore I must have money wherewith 1 may purchase all these thing ; And Job sat him down, and made out many bills, and sent forth messengers that they might go abroad among his subscribers and collect that which was due even to the last ‘shekel thereof. And in the fullness of time there returned unto him a messenger and said : Lo and behold, I have been among thy subscribers, and besought them to render unto mein thy behalf that which they owed thee ; And they arose and cursed me, and fell upon me and beat me and stepped on my neck, saying: Are we deadbeats that we should thus be dunned ? While he was yet speaking, there came also another and said: The wrath of madness is on thy subscribers and their hands are on their purse-strings and they will not pay. While he was yet speaking there came also another and said : ‘unto me: Let thy master poll wait until such time as we are ready; for ishe not an - editor, and rich and power Hil AW fal in the land ? while we HSS are poor and toil from day to day that we may eat. Then Job arosé and rent his suspender. and ground his teeth in rage,” and rent his hair, the little that was left him, and smote with his fist upon the desk a mighty smite, and said: CONCISELY ANSWERED. Lo and behold, there ies 4 US RR ae areno shekels in the news- Mr, Veoosan (from Herkimer)—"* Much obleeged, pardner, bat man that is wise getteth I allus do my orem shavin'.” out therefrom in haste and ; ona ot letteth it severely alone. And Job went forth even to his front door and took down the shingle whercon there was inscribed the legend “ Job Printing.” And all his possessions he sold for many shekels. And he bought him a clothing store and on the outer gates he hung a sign whereon in gilded letters he that ran might read “Job Lots.” In all this Job erred not and showed that there was to him a great head. axrwue uveas. It is the moth who o CHEAP ENOUGH. Well, really, ‘tis clear that New Vork is the place T think you now wonder if this is quite true, To go into court if you have a great case. And just how much time could be purchased by you; No fear of a loss. By Jove! it’s immense; ‘Well, this I can’t tell ; but, betwixt you and me, ‘They say you can buy up the Juncx for ten cents. Tonce bought myself a whoie Century. And, speaking of this. it does seem to me In short, this great city 1s just to my taste: That if you have money content you should be; In leaving {think | shall not be in haste. HIE! DIDINOT: SUCCEED IN: BEING POLITES For who can complain when for a small dime 1 find all things cheap—excepting the rents— Miss Scater—" If you will kindly stop that intermin- ‘The man who can’t kill it can always buy Time Theard that a man bought the Werdd for five cents. able overture, professor, I shall be glad to begin.” ss UAXA GHLRKKT AKOWN. Proressox Vox THALON—" Ah, madam, youst dthink 7 ane vot more bleasure ve geds from der andizzibation den from We find the fool a pretty smart fellow when we come to make a trade with him. de realidy in dis life.” comicbooks.com