Judge — December 1888 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CHRISTMAS JUDGE stream shot up into the air out of the sea to the height of 200 feet and then fell back in a cascade. The brig turned a somersault and then, shifting the cargo, drifted up to the shore among the native: He looked toward the tin pail, when our last pennics were col- lected and I started myself for the grocery. Wiping a dab of froth off his red nose with the back of his hand, he went on: «It was a sight to behold. That stream flung out an old Dutch brigantine of 1750, with a high poop-deck, and lashed to the bulwarks were some little brass cannon which would throw a one-pound ball. A Chinese junk floated up to the shore. An Oswego canal boat from Hell Gate, New York, loaded with oak staves, was tied to the shore. There is where everything lost at sea goes. It is carried in the sub- terranean channel and fired out near that island in the middle of the open Polar sea. The Farringoes (that is the name of the natives) they stand and watch and gather in whatever they like that comes up out of the great tube. You have read, no doubt, about the skeletons of mammoths found in the Arctic regions, or you have heard of strange kinds of wood never seen before coming down in the Gulf Stream ; well, that island, Farringoe, is where they live and grow. It isthe most fertile spot on earth. Probably you kids know that the warmth of the Gulf Stream makes England inhabitable. Well, this current of warm water is discharged in the Polar sea, runs in a circle around that island, and it has the greatest climate in the world. Outside of that circle is a floc of solid ice; inside it there is a tropical growth of trees, birds and animals. I was the only white man who ever came in through the subterranean channel alive, and I was made high Wawok and supposed to be a god. I was obliged to marry a daughter of the Farringoe chief, and act as commander-in-chief of the native army. Iwas there thirty and reformed the government and civil service. Then he sang a song about the Tongo islands, tipping his head far back, and roaring out : “** My bride was kind as kind could be And we I in very great harmony, Till the chiefs they jealous grew of me, All in the Tongo-o-o Islands.” “Then I determined to escape. You see up there they have six months of day and six months of night, and I determined one day when it came night I would cast loose the old Sorrento which re- mained at the dock and Ict her float out on the Gulf Stream. I had an idea that the Gulf Stream would find a northwest passage for itself. So I provisioned the old brig and caulked her up for a voyage and made all fast for storm and calm, for she was a bully boat : *** Loud roared the dreadful thunder, The rain in deluge showers, The clouds were rent asunder By lightning’s vivid powers; To climb the slippery shrouds Each breathless seaman crowds; As we lay all that da! In the Bay of Hise: Then my great uncle tried to go to sleep. His head hung down Littie Hecror— Mr. Fipps—" Why, over the back of his chair enough to break hisneck, but little Abe Morris punched h breast and asked : “Did you get away all right, Mr. Marston?" The old sailor drew his hand across his mouth as if wiping away imagi- nary froth of beer and said : “ My kids, I came down on the Gulf Stream to Newfound- land and hired a steamer to tow me in- to Boston. I (/ic) sold the cargo of potash for ighty thousand dol- « lars and came right over here to visit my (hic) long lost rela- tives. Pipe the new watch to quarters, and f ~ (tis) let me go to THE ONLY CASE ON RECORD. sleep . Baxoy Peevostr— Loffer the Prevost treasure Just then pa and in jieu of the Prevost youth,which is gone. Docs ma came in to sce madame accept?" . ; . what kind of a time W STRAIGHTAWAY — aid she can’t, were having, and they seemed astonish- = ed when they saw my great uncle lying back in his chair, snoring like everything. Old gold was never becon "said 1,“ this is y cle, Edward Perkins Marston, lost at sea in 1850. Pa looked astonished, and said, “1 never had any such uncle. It was an uncle on my mother’s side, and his name was Smith.” “T guess you must be mistal said I“ He has told us all about it. He has been in the open Polar sea among the F goes and went down in the Maelstrom, and sce these toys m of wood from the North Pole.” Pa and ma laughed ever so hard, and pa looked at the wooden toys and said That is only strips of stained wood glued together into a block and then whittled into toys—an old trick.” cle to arouse him, and he only snorted and commenced to sing something about a young sailor named Ben Brace. Then pa turned up the collar of the 5 jacket and found per, reading: Uf found drunk, please re~ turn Sailor's Snug Harbor, Staten Island, N Jake Masterson, No. 18. Then pa laughed awful loud and ma gig- gled, and we told how many times we went out after beer. Then pa told cab, andas we had had a good time with the old sailor, and all said it wa time we ever had, id it was recip- rocal, for evidently old Jake Masterson, No. 186, had had a good Lirrix. Hecror—* No ; but f heard you tell Mr. Uddley that you had to hock it to get here, so I got another bottle time too. from the butler, in case it needs any more.” ALT. WORDEN. comicbooks.co