Judge — October 27, 1888 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE ALL AT SEA. SSK IN you direc” me ter wh'G. ALR, he asked of the G on the corner, gate frum Ce sorter got lost down on th’ anks 0” this ere 0” yourn.” “Vell, 1 dinks 1 hear somsing aboud dot,” was the reply. hoss “Tm a dili- ‘kie, an’ I've st creek Vos you yo mit der car?" Hil hoof it. A fel- ler charged me fer a lunch, jes’ down here, thet I thought wuz free, an’ I've got ter go kinder easy * Vell, dis vos Avner A." and the man of meat cut a knob off a Bologna sausage d tucked it in his mouth, to improve his English pronunciation.“ You Iks oop here aboud as two mile, unt den you turns off to der righd unt you goms to Fourteen shdreed unt dere you finds him aboud four house from der river.” The delegate tried to follow directions, but got over on the west side of the town in some way, and it was not until nine P.M. tha himself in the locality he had been looking for. A convenient policeman in answer to his query pointed across the street, and as the eyes of the old soldier festooned out on his checks he read on a sign, “Gottleib Abrenheit’s Ratschkellar Hall,” and “—, —, — = =. — "was all he could he found THE GREAT DELIGHT OF AUTUMN—THAT THE SUMMER IS GONE. “ My dear niece: Thank heaven! | am at home again, and deliver me from another summer of social thraldom, The eternal receiving and making visits, driving in the dust, and all such fol-de-rol may do for those who like it, but it is sic! be meat occasionally ning to me. T enjoy s¢ nd ‘not the perpet cream and, after all, candied hum- ming-birds’ eggs. It's about th: and I'll just give you the order o} day's programme: Breakfast, usu- ally ending about 9.30. ‘Then come the babies on the front porch, where there is a swing, and baby-chairs and wagons, Then the day’s tele- phoning, by means of which all the marketing is done. Then the ever- lasting driving, stopping at innum- erable shops, and meeting other women driving around in the same way ; then home again, wilted and tired, ‘Then babies again, their luncheons, undressings, and mid- day fights about taking their mid- naps. Then our luncheon— and perhaps an hour's quiet, when, whoop-la! the babies! fresh and renewed. Then they are dressed again and go out to the lawn under some oak trees. Then we ‘dress, then visitors, or we go and prod someone, and they lie like the—mis- chief, and say they're ‘so glad to see us,’ and we lie back, and say we're ‘so glad to be spared in God's mercy to make calls.’ We know they are lying, and they without joubt are equally certain that the love of tuth dwelleth not in our ungodly breasts. As for me, I con- fess I say, ‘Mrs. Maria Alecta Ho- too, but there must cloy of sweetmeats, whipped THE FALL EXAMINATION. CHAIRMAN OF BoomTown ards hev giv us a very enter (side to fellowwocommittecman.) a little see whether archipleggo was an isla Moor. COMMITTEE" Miss Bangs, your schol- session, We'll send you our report t Te got ter go home an’ grind up th’ dictionary little redeheaded cuss was right when he said morrer. sweet cherub boy, Mathias 3° del Fuego.) his has been the occupation of your aunt for the past two months, and, knowing her, you may just yather that emptying feather-beds or nursing ina small-pox tent would be equall I +kin’ stand it, but L really do not *hanker (Infant fiend! 1 wish he were in Terra to her unregenerate liking. sa steady whirl, ctionately, “Yours aff and, really, it funny tl But of course I want you to come to call Will I try this beautiful ring again? Thanks, awfully, yes; for of all nice men Tike you best, and it never will seem ‘That the past isauyht but a naughty deeam. And dreams, like engagements, are quickly done, Like this, "for the summer—such jolly fun.” PROBABLY AFFECTED THE RESULT. * You have had better luck with your paper than you thought you should, haven't you “Ah, yes; it exceeds my best expectati “Ww success to ? don't know, unless it was. that in my editorial salutatory to the public I omitted to s have come to stay.’ ” t do you attribute your denpyle, 1 am so glad to. meet you.’ (May God forgive my per- jured soul!) *And how is your IN THE GALLERY. Miss Scutciron—"* That's grandma's portrait, painted in 1830." Mk. BRINDLEY (more than nearsighted )—"And this. of course must be your venerated grandfather” A young prima donna named F: Mad a waist as large as a ba She began to tight lace, Got red in the face, “nd then was unable to carol, comicbooks.com