Judge — October 13, 1888 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE JUDGE'S PHOTOGRAPHS. THE EPTIBLE YOUTH, JF there's anyone I love to watch in all this busy town, it is the callow youngster with whom any- thing goes down. And I've come to the conclusion that no one be- neath the sun enjoys life with such vigor as the lad of twenty-one. When sober folks like you and I run into town at night we leisurely climb in a car, a slow and steady | flight. But he—he leaps intoa cab, he lights a strong cigar and longs to test the pleasures that await him now afar. He fairly loves the chilly night, the glitter of the lamps, the multitude of people that on every roadbed tramps; the jangle of the horse-car bells is music to his ear, while every gay device of light seems like a vision clear. Ye gods, what dishes he devours! Ye gods, what brands of wine! that no one but a college youth would dare consider fine. How he adores the comely maids who dance in crim- son tights before the gay Aladdin in “The Merry Moorish Nights.” Both you and I are bored and tired, we never smile or laugh; but jolly tears roll down his checks at every bit of chaff; HE COULDN'T ACCOUNT FOR IT. Lustinctox (soho started to climb the crossway gate just as it rises)—"' Great smoke (ic)! Hope I may b' drown'‘d ‘fi ever see until we find we're watching him unmindful of the play, and wishing we were young such a (Aic) bloomin’ high fence ; an’ seems to me she’s (hic) still a again and eager for the fray. growin’. Pshaw! he’s young and both of us our friends consider old. You mufle up and hurry home for fear your wife will scold; while I go ambling down the street or stop to get a bite, and then stroll home beneath the stars that blossom in the night, But he bolts off to join his friends in some wild midnight lark, and crawls to bed just as the sun comes blushing through the park. How easily he wakens up and tumbles out of bed, no racking pain across his brow or cobweb in his head! ‘The waking thought that rises up and will not be put down is how in three short days he best can see the most of town. We say it’s wrong, of course; but, then, would we be different men, if you and 1 A DIVERGENCE OF VIEWS. “ Who is your family physician, Freddy?” asked Mrs, Hendricks of the Brown boy. “We ain't got none,” said the boy. “ Pa’s a homeopath, ma’s an allopath, sister Jane is a Christian scientist, grandma and grandpa buys ail the quack medicines going, Uncle James believes in massage, and brother Bill is a horse-doctor.”” instead of aged, were only young again? GOT IT DOWN FINE. Henpecked husband (showing off his baby boy to bachelor friend) — “Well, what do you think of him? Fine boy, isn’t he?” Bachelor friend — Yes; very fine boy, but he’s bald; but then (glancing at henpecked husband's bald head) children are not satisfied now-a-days unless they can begin where their fathers left off.” Henpecked husband (looking ruefully at his wife and running his hand over his head)—" My boy be- gan where his mother left off.” THE EMBER MONTHS. Scarce two survive—the rest are past, Of the year's dozen members ; ‘The months, like brands, are burning fast, ‘We now are in the embers. A DARK OUTLOOK. First farmer's Heard your husband was sick or suthin’.” Second farmer's wife— Yes; John’s been a Ieetle under the weather lately.” First farmer's wife—" Noth- in’ serious, I/hope.”* Second farmer's wife— Well, John’s punkin didn’t take first prize at the county fair, and I tell ye things do look pretty dark.”” DEWITT STERRY. SOUND FINANCE. Bagley—" Young Wiggins asked me to lend him a hundred this HER GREETING. _ Lirtie Epwina (oho has deem told to say something pleasant to Uncle Picoms's new wife)—" Polly want a cracker?” morning, and I said I'd see about it. What do you think ?” Gagley—" | think it would be cheaper to give it to him, You won't have to spend anything then in try- ing to collect the debt.” NOT WANTED. A beggar was pursuing his call- ing in the street. “ Are you not ashamed” asked a passer-by, ‘to follow a trade like that when you are able to work ? “Sir,” replied the barefooted one with Castilian pride, * it was money, not advice, that I asked you for!” SONG OF THE MILITIA MAN. , let me like a soldier fall Upon the tented field— Fall to my rations with the boys The knife and fork who wield ! HEIR-DRESSING. Grafton —“ Good heavens, Pawcival, hev you gawn stark, star= ing mad? Why. you've shaved the top of yoah head as smooth as a bil- liard ball!” Von Baboony— Aw, deah fel- law, I'm only following the fashion of the queen's heir, ye know.” comicbooks.com