Judge — September 22, 1888 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

384 JUDGE FROM A FRAGMENT OF HAFIZ. THE PERSIAN MAID IS BERATED FOR ALLOWING HER QUILL TO RUST IN THE A REMARKABLE PHENOMENON. Jones was calling on his dentist. “So you are troubled with toothache quired the artist in ivories. ~ Frightfully.” “Ah! does it come on frequently ?” “ Every five minutes.” * And lasts some time?” “A quarter of an hour, at least.” AD you yet so lightly cared = A REASONABLE PUN. Edith—"\ wonder what can make young Wiggins so insufferably stupid when he’s alonc with me? If we have a house full he's the very life of ‘the compan Maude—" Maybe it's because he feels faint heart near one fair lady.” How an absent lover fared; Had your heart the love-thirst known, To be slaked in his alone ; Had the tendrils of your love Sought him, as her nest the dove : Had your dreams bred thoughts of him— Ghosts of joys, with tapers dim, Walking slow through places waste, JSCHLITZENBURGER la Wurst. Weaving garlands now defaced ; Hal your memory trea SAUSAGES. red up Golden lees from pleasure’s cup, Drained so fondly and so sweetly Once when you were his completely ; Had your bosom still beat fast For adieux not meant to last: Had your hands remembered still All the old responsive thrill; Had your feet yeamed still to stray Gladly where he led the way Had yon not forgotten—then You had written him a HE WAS A BROOKLYNITE. r (entering the olfice of the ferry superintendent)— saving device, which I think should be placed on all your boats. Superintendent (with biting sarcasm)—" How do you suppose a man is going to keep himself out of the water with a charcoal-coated muzzle?” “ [don’t claim that for it, but it can keep his nose out of the a I have here, sir, a new life- Stranger (gently) Those who brave the odors of the East river twice a day will know why I call it a life-saver.” NOT A TRANSLATOR. SCHLITZENHURGER AN EARLY OLD AGE. sbinson was lecturing his favorite nephew, who was something of a rake, $s you are now going,” he urged in solemn tones, Anytings in mein line dis “and you Mr. Perers—" No! git, I git th’ best!" I ain't rich, but what I do PUTTING THE BEST FACE ON IT. Jones had taken a small place for the summer in one of the reddest, and least attractive portions of New Jersey. The other day he invited a few friends out to see it. On some- one frankly remarking that it was a considerable distance from New York, and that there was not much to see when one arrived there, Jones replied, with pardonable pride: “Yes: but think what a beautiful section of country you have to pass through to get here.” A TERRIBLE FALL. Thompson—" Aw, Vim weally gwieved to see how young Featherhead is fascinated by the fair Powderpuff. She's a bwil- liant actwess, to be sure, but the boy shouldn't go ewazy.over her.” Hogg—" Baw! Why, it’s merely a business affair between them, “His admiwation advertises her, doncherknow. and it also gives him a chawactaw in the world.” Thompson— But, blawst it, boy! | know they're going to be married.” Hogg—" Married ? vertising sign!” DIDN'T STOP TO THINK. Widow—* Well, then, we will decide on one of those granite monuments, the cost not to exceed $5,000.” Undertaker Ves, ma’am ; anything else this mornin, SRL DI Heavinks! Then he’s not even an ad- ONLY CREEPING-VINE WIRE. size of those mosquito nets, Caesar! the bird itself must be something like a chicken comicbooks.com