Judge — September 1, 1888 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE OLD CHOCOLATE’S TARGET PRACTICE. EN’ yo! mule an’ he casts his shoes, A wench am a wench, ribbons er no. an’ pewtah weigh de same in de can't be a hiah‘d-man an’ boss de job too, Buy ob de man dat er got two p an’ git cheated. Ef Pompey am absent, yo" cha'ge de blame on him We offen ‘spise habits in oddahs dat we hab ou’selves. De man dat went roun’ an’ obah de bridg: drowned, Yo" might jis’ ez well be widout cousins ef yo" a’n't got mone De drunken man promises a-many tings dat he ca puhfawm. Age doan’ ole chicken viel. allus comman’ respec’. Yo" nebbah ven’rate an Yo’ fin’ mo’ tlies in de soup at anoddah’s table en yo" do at home. Dar’s one ‘mahkable ing abo't advice. W'en yo" awtah use hit yo" dun fawgot hit, jis’ laik yo" did wha’ yo" put de onion seed las’ fall. Leff anodah do w'at yo" awtah do yo'se’f an’ yo" a’n't no mo’ satistied wid de job en yo" ud be toe hab someun take yo" cha'r at dinnah, Dar am such a difence in men that one ull worry a deal mo’ abo't a hole in ‘is stockin’ dat anoddah will abo't a hole ii rah wid. ‘an’t be seen dan is reputashen, dat eberybody am fa PATIENCE, NOT “ Why so deep in thought, old boy ? for the last ten minutes, 1am holding private council over my annual poem. [call it an annual because I bring it out regularly every summer, and am now trying to remember what magazine remains to send it to." HOPE, You haven't winked an eyelid LANGUAGE OF THE HANDKERCHIEF. When the fat man ties his around his neck, it signifies that the weather is warm and he has a new collar on. When the pretty girl suddenly makes a grab for her handkerchief and clasps it to her mouth, it means that she wants to sneeze. When the whittling fiend binds his around one of his fin- gers, it signifies that his knife has slipped. When a girl drops hers in the street when there is no dude in sight, it denotes that she has been carrying too. many articles in her hands, When a man comes out of side entrance on Sunday wip- his mouth with his handke chief, it isa sure sign that he has been spending money When the flash youth takes leman’s handkerchief out of his pocket ina crowd, it signi- that he will never see it in, When the young widow car- ries a handkerchief with a very heavy black border, it is safe to bet that she will remarry before the year is out. fie: When a lady and a gentle- man are together and the lady takes his handkerchief cut of his pocket and uses it, there ean be no doubt that they are mar- ried. ULTRA purchases)—" When a man buys any of the smell of a market.” Mrs. Beresrorp (zeho had rested her pet onthe lobster h Tell me that dogs are not aristocratic ! VAIN REGRETS. The boys had been having a little picnic up the river, and had left a memorial tree. Tren Swazey (the tramp, discorering t)—" By’ Jinks ! tree “fore der fruit dried up so!" LT wisht Md struck dat those three- cent handkerchiefs from the street peddlers, he is stuck. it means that The old colored lady carries her handkerchief tied around her head. The dude's silk handkerchief is always worn so that the corner sticks out. When a man suddenly feels a heavy cold coming on, it means that that is just the very time he left his handkerchief at home. When a man bets a box of handkerchiefs with a lady and happens to get them, it signifies that he is a very lucky man, When a strange man wakes you up in the midde of the night and « pokes his handkerchief down your throat, it is a sign that he is robbing your house. When a woman carries her handkerchief in her hand she docs not always wish to cry or flirt, but ably has no pocket in her dress. prol When an actress displays a yesit is a sure sign that she is portray ing the part of a queen. lace handkerchief on the st When the street Arab grabs at your pocket and makes you believe he has stolen your hand- kerchief, it signifies that it April fools’ day and. tha are the fool. you When you see a man rush down from the top floor of a flat a hurry to reach his office and then suddenly put his hand in his pocket and run_ up-stairs again, you may bet your pile that forgotten his handker QUERY. Go preach prohibition Tin in the face, And ct cold water wil reat race, im ths win Tali may be true: But is it not queer ven when dead, ju must have a bier? REFINED. vel while making her Tha Why, Caspar can’t bear even LENA GILeKKT BROWN, comicbooks.com