Judge — September 1, 1888 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE EDGERTON. OME, children, and you shall hear about Edgerton. He was a good dog—that is, ion south of his head was —being a combination of rare old qualities bestowed on him by one of the biggest ancestries that a dog ever had. His head, however, seemed to have been left out in the lavish distribution of charms, and the artist to whom we are indebted for the accompanying portrait had to retire to the house four times for mental disinfection during the sitting. He said it was a new sensa- tion to have a nightmare when broadly awake. Edgerton was a valuable dog in many and diverse respects. He had a habit of pursuing a parasite around himself which we turned to practical use and rest for the tired eye. All we had todo when he began the chase was to set him, as it were, at the head of the garden walk, and in rolling over and over in an effort to locate his adversary he would sweep that walk as clean as Mayor Hewitt’s conscience in less than ten seconds, and, unlike a bobtail car horse, would enjoy himself in making others happy. He rolled off the wall into the water one day, and always after would soak himself thoroughly before doing the sweeping-act So as not to raise any dust. Edgerton was a great doy, children, He came to us through the general offices of a neighbor whose chickens we had poisoned in an effort to disqualify an old bandit of a rat that had its lair under thes wall between the two villas te line The neighbor threw the dog at our front door one dark night, think- ing he was a corpse; but he did not know Edgerton, ing we found our prote We took him in, put a collar on him which he wore out of compli- ment for ten minutes and then chewed off, and he stayed with us through thick and thin (99 per cent. thin) for close on to twelve years. We have often been asked what color we called him when writing of him, and only since his death have we been able to answer intelligently. It came to us one day while watching a couple of Italians unloading fag-ends from a city dump-cart. ‘The ensemble was Edgerton’s exact shade. His disappearance was a sad but glorious one. Our servant: made nd the next morn- ‘or asleep on the mat. AT THE SEANCE. Foxp Morier—" Ob, Reuben! it is our dear departed Sarah, our only laughter !* PRACTICAL FATHER—"*'S-s-sh, Marthy ; not so loud! She might recognize Serr ae A HEAVY LOAD. OLsoULE—"* What's the trouble, my boy? You don't look well.” Frerray—" My wife yave me her portrait in a locket for a holiday present, and I'm not quite used to carrying it yet.” some sausages one fall day after recipe which her mother in Ger- many sent her, and Edgerton ate one. It stuck crossways in the front hall of his interior, and then in try- ing to capture a stray cat he got caught in a hole in the fence, and the sausage exploded. A few months after the hal- liards on the village flag-staff xot fouled, and the artisan who shinned the mast to straighten them out found one of Edgerton’s ears plas tered on the gilt ball at the top of the vane. We hardly expect to see him again; but, children, Edgerton was a good dog. OF COURSE. “ When are you going to make me that promised visit, Marion? Soon, I hope?” “Tam afraid not, dear. | invited a hired girl to come and stay with me last week, and.shall have to stay at home to see that she has every- thing to make her’cqmfortable. That locket. ATTENTION! THOSE WHO CAN'T AFFORD TO LEAVE HOME. The undersigned, having made a careful scientific study of the sub- ject, will guarantee to create the following complexions, and adjust to a nicety the different shades adapted to all the popular resorts. By com- bining with this work of genius a judicious retirement in the back part of your domiciles and all other due precautions, you will be able to emerge the end of the season with an éc/at not distinguishable from the genu- ine article by even the most fastidiously experienced, Bar harbor t - Narragansett pier tan, == $200 00 250 00 Asbury park, Long Branch, Rye beach, and all other shades at corre- spondingly low figures. Ocean voyage tan, with the exact shade of * rosy underglow, - y $500 00 Forcign sojourn tan, - + = 600 00 ble degree of brownness on face, neck. Feet and ankles extra, according to These terms include the des ds, and arms up to the elbows. References — The Noodles of Anglomerica. Shoddee-Van Doodles and Coddfysshe-Von Address Fitz DUDENBACKER, No, 00% Fool's row. The man who is the most anxious to borrow is the least willing Sin’ 'f she looks like that now, darned ‘f I wan’ ter be seen speakin’ to her." to pay. comicbooks.com