Judge, 1888-08-11 · page 10 of 16
Judge — August 11, 1888 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct satirical pieces mocking social pretense and romantic dishonesty: **"Their Parting":** A couple exchanges tearful goodbyes—she begs him to stay, he claims business obligations prevent it. The dark joke: immediately after she leaves, he "winked at Bob" and thanks heaven "she's safely off," revealing the entire emotional display was performance. The satire targets insincere romantic sentiment and domestic discord masked by false affection. **"Best Housekeeping—The Imported Style":** Mocks wealthy women who adopt affected European cleaning methods—holding brooms like plows, scattering dust everywhere, arranging furniture haphazardly—while obsessing over decorative details like embroidered dustpans. The satire targets pretentious "imported" affectation and incompetent domesticity among the affluent. **"Involuntary Decoration":** Uncle John, too overweight to see his feet, naps and gets painted by boys, becoming accidentally decorated. Simple slapstick humor about vanity and physical decline.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE THEIR PARTING. ™ My dear, you'll come and stay a week? “Indeed, I wish it much.” His eyes were sad, his voice was meek ; * But business, love, is such" — * Well, then on Friday evenings—yes— ‘And stay till Monday morn ?"* " That would not make expenses less.”* He smiled a smile forlorn, “ T really cannot promise now; But, dearest" here he sighed— * [shall enjoy the thought of how . You wished me by your side.” “Then T must hurry back,” she said. Not so. my Minnie dear ; Stay till September's leaves are red.” ‘She kissed him with a tear. He kissed her with a breaking sob That sounded like a cough. COOL AS AN ICICLE. Brocktesry (tho has played his part ina The train moved out, he winked at Bob— "Thank heaven! she's safely off.” M.S. pRIDGES. Miss Deerine (guietly)—" Have you been ‘ro see that nobody else is going to occupy the ‘lover's | would be too bad for two of you to get there at the same time. BEST HOUSEK ING—THE IMPORTED STYLE. SWEEPING AND DUSTIN ¥ sweeping and dusting the method of the style importer seems to be evolved from her inner conscicusness, and any attempt to show her a different way of doing things is resented as an insult, and treated some- times with silent, sometimes with noisy contempt Still, the imported summer styles of sweeping and dusting are very chic ; and close attention to a few simple rules would render any admirer expert in a short time. ‘Lhe broom is held somewhat as a plow might be. It is driven in front of the importer, and raised slightly at the termination of each round. This is very effective. It causes the dust to scatter far and wide. And if we want the dust to scatter it seems to be as good a way as any to accomplish it. Be careful not to bear on too hard for fear of injuring the carpe also be particular to avoid corners. . When you have been across the room in this manner a few times the sweeping is done Next take your duster in hand. The material or size of the duster does no: matter. provided it is feather-stitched on the edge, and em- broidered in the corner with a stork, or a cobweb. The latter, perhaps, would be more appropriate. Shake this arrangement lightly around pictures, dréc-a-brac and general furniture, being careful not to touch or wipe them off too heavily. In the case of fragile ornaments a few extra flirts will do all that necessary. ‘There isa deep though hidden antipathy in the mind of the style importer for useless parlor ornament, and she considers any means of suppressing it legitimate. Then the style importer places the chairs, tables, etc., about the room in a manner all her own, giving a general struck-by-lightning appearance. The last touch being inimitable, there is no use giving any rules for producing it N.B.—The style importer does not insist on an embroidered duster, or a hand-painted dust-pan; but attention to these details does much to brighten life and make it worth living. Says Willie to Clara, You blush, maiden meek ; "Twas my glance that planted the rose in your cheek, Let me pluck it! Her lashes the blush-roses sweep. Says she, *'Tis but right where you sow you should reap.” INVOLUNTARY DECORATION. Uncle John, who hasn't seen his feet for years and years, takes a quiet nap behind the bathing-house, and is discovered by the boys who have been painting their boat. Uncxe Jou (orking up)—" "Pears to me I attract considerable more atten tion than I useter !’ For comicbooks.com