Judge — July 28, 1888 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OUT -MAJORING THE MAJOR. AVET PEPERNEL tried on his uncle's clothes, ‘The major’s coat and breeches, And vowed he could fill the uniform brave With a few odd reefs and stitches, And swore he'd out-major the major himself, And improve on his style quite boldly (For the gay old soldier in philandering With Time had never grown mouldy), So blithe Cadet Pepernel came up to town ‘To view the“ high drill” and the" leddies,” With a“ hit Mistress Mary,” and “hi yi! Lady Loon,” ‘And a chuck for their cros»grained * tebbies.” Once to a duchess “Ah! Miss Ilunderby dear, I make my very best d Gads! Mistaken am 1? Al Our kingdom could hold oties. how could I dream heir modest daughter harassinj And when he drove out with an up-country friend, He seemed the whole dukedomi "*hob-nobbing.”* “Twas dukes—" Smith, Jones, or Brown,” all near-sighted men— Till J nigh went off with bobbing. Unbidden be went to the High-drillers’ ball On his claims as a fighting soldier ! ‘The terrapin, clams, and whipped sy!labubs Could prove there ne'er was a bolder. And he cut " pigeon wings” ia the grave minuet, While the trains of the august ladies Got wound round his shanks like a spool of silk thread Till they wished him far down in hades! But the cups were too deep at that Hightrillers’ ball, (For he was only a dry land-lubbe And he called Lady Margaret Standish " Peg.” As he had heard the major dub her. Alack, that to Standish he proudly owned That he was his own, own uncle, For it sent him home with his arm in a sling And each eye with a great carbuncle. CORNELIA St. JOHN. A LAKE GEORGE DISAPPOINTMENT. is Coaktey—" You ain't sailing very fast, Bobby 7” ,NOT FOND OF SAD COLORS, A patron of the fine arts, possessed of more money than taste, had ordered a landscape of Millet. The day the purchaser exclaimed : “Good heavens! Monsieur Millet, couldn't you afford to make your sky a little more livel “What for?” demanded Millet, “ Because it is my daughter's wedding day.” was brought home THE DECORATIVE CRAZE. At the weekly meeting of the * Hibernian Coterie” beautifying the hall came up. “Misther Prisident!" said Mr, O'Toole, “Oi have an new motion the question of ‘ ADULATION. This represents the prevailing amisement ih. village circles just at present. In the centre is a recently graduated cadet from Annapolis and is being weleomed hom Monks (sadly)—"* No sent me mosquito neti The young gentleman e. 1 sent down to the city for some thin sail cloth and my mother anent ye, “Tis me opinion it wud bootify av we was to dicorate the soides ay the hall wid aboot twanty escutcheons.” The motion was seconded. “Gintlemin! gintlemin!” shouted O'Grady, hopping to his feet, “ Oi have an amindmint, “Tis little money yez know we have to spind, an’ i move a committee be appinted to buy wan escutcheon, an’ av it grows cut shlips off av it an’ plant thim.” KNEW WHAT IT WAS TO FAST. “Wonderful, isn’t it, how people can go for days and days without food? I've just been reading about a man out west who hasn't touched food for tw months.” “ Nothing remark: “You think so “Certainly, Ido. I lived in a in New York for two years mysel ble about that.” boarding-house “ Have I mowed the lawn even?” asked Eddie one day, voking up with a gratified nod, I, yes, it is even, my boy, as you say, But yet, at the same time, it's sod.” BITTER-SWEET. % And you will surely be mine, Augustus ?" “Yes; but I shall naturally be more surely bound to you when I am wearing the ring.” “T— the r-r-ring !" “Yes, of course; and if it doesn’t matter to you I'd like a heavy gold band witha seal. I've al- ways longed for a real genuine seal, and you know you said you'd do anything for me.” “I've spent all this month's allowance, and, anyway, I don’t believe I could afford it. I—I for- got. I thought I'd have a diamond and sapphire just like Fred Tuthill gave Clara.” - “Yes? But Ae asked, you know.” comicbooks.com