Judge — July 21, 1888 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUD MAID FROM BOSTON CITY. F chan vl Of easy carriage, full Of everything No wonder then I fell in tos With this bright creature fron This maid from Boston city grace, pretty: above No glawes bridge her classic nove, Nor speaks she Greek as you'd suppose. Nor Latin—-what a pity! But that is why my passion came Affection for this winsome dame This maid from Boston city She reads not Browning hy the page, Nor dotes upon the latest * rage Nor sings in love-sick ditty ; Vet she's aw fait in all she tries, And that is why I dearly prize This maid trom Boston city And though this charmer's lately come From cultured Boston's busy hum (1 mean not to be witty), She's only been there on a call: A New Vork girl is, after all, This maid from Boston city DARK SAYIN’S. A bully wins about de same ‘mount ob respect as at mule’s hee Modesty is a mighty good p'int in a ‘oman’s make-up; der swe berries grow in de sh It doesn’t cost anything ter say howdy when you meet a man an’ it makes the road ‘pear shorter. Advice is sometimes like bone-set tea; hard ter swallow but does a heap ob good when you get it down Education an’ common sense make a pow'ful te ter pull single, common sense is de best nag ob de two. but if dey’s got If people would prais’ de Lawd fer their success half as much as they blame Him fer their failures we'd hab a snay more churches in de = \ land mee TOO PREVIOUS. A worthy man, a retired grocer, had been sent out by his wife to make a few purchases for the houschold. bound, he gave an account of his stewardship and handed the change to his wi “Well, I never, James!" exclaimed the latter, who was not gifted On his return, as in duty A CONEY ISLAND RATTLER. Cooley has taken his western friend to“ the quietest place on the beach" for a little symposium. PROPRIETOR OF BOWLING ALLEY (next door}— deesturbs you ve vill use all der shmall palls, ain'd hentlemens, ohf der game GE 235 the best of tempers, “if you haven't gone and taken a counterfeit quarter.” ~ You don't me Yes, a lead on nit?” Look “Yes, Psee; | was in too great a hurry to grab the change. the thieve: Oh, “Well, it’s no trouble to cheat such idiots as you, in such a hurry to pick up the change?” “ Hecause I thought they'd paid me ten cents too much.” What made you S > SERIOUSLY MAIMED. * How do, chummie, old boy?” bLey—" For mercy's sake! What's the mattah with your hand 7” 1eV—"' Did it carrying this beastly buckhorn umbwella handle.” paar CoRDiry Bani « LITERARY PURSUITS. Cholly—* Now look tired, old fel’; whatcher been doing ?” Dolly (briefly) Literary work.” Cholly (surprisedly) Dolly —" Well, this morning he What branch, old man?" 1 see, | know a man who writes for papers, and sked me tw help him count the words in an article he was going to send down town Almost as hard as writing, don’tcherknow “Don't say! Mighty hard work, I assure you. THE SOUL A loving young couple. * Well, my dear, what shall | give you for your birthday?" “Tm sure, dear, F ean’t tell.” * Well, then, I'll give you OF GENEROSITY. a year to decide in.” A PROBLEM. aster Bobby's papa is the happy owner of a hi hine. The other day, as the former was watching a chick energetically ig its way through its shell. he inquired : “T see how he gets out, but however did he yo to work to ching ma tin 2” HOW SHE EF yyins (incredulously although you've been married a year your husband has never once al- luded to his mother’s cooking ? Mrs, Youngiwife— Never. you know.” 's folks always lived at hotels, ONE WASN’T ENOUGH. Barber (purely from force of habit) "Have a hair cut, sir?" Bald-headed customer—"es; three or four of them—I guess I've got that many left.” comicbooks.com