Judge — July 7, 1888 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

T must have been ten years ago When first upon the Rialto I met Belshazzar Bolingbroke A man with whom ‘twere death tw joke, Of regal strut and pompous port, Although in stature rather short In fact, a great tragedian Who scatterd epithet and ban In common converse to such use ‘That one would think the fiends were loose His coat was shabby, and his hat Was limp and old. “But what of that? Mere clothing does not make the man. I can point out the charlatan Who in gay costume passes by, While I, sir—do you hear me +1, Whose shoes he is not fit to lace, Am uyed, sir, by the populace. Odd zookst and by me halidome ! By Caesar! And by St. Jerome! By Thespis’s name! By plagues as great! BEST HOUSEKEEPING—THE IMPORTED STYLE UNDRY WORK. HIS is a subject that is carefully avoided by some of our most promi- nent writers of housel Knowing there must be some grave reason for the omission we proceed cautious- Iyto furnish a few hints only concerning the mystery spoken of by the importers nselves as“ washin’ and in * ‘The clothes should be all packed into. the wash- tub without any regard for r kind or degree. Then deluged with soda and any and all compounds warrant- ed to take out the dirt with- out labor. ‘The next day the clothes should be drawn from this «J passed to the next tub to be “rénshed.” Blueing and starching follow, and, when the articles are hung in the back yard, the sun and wind are ex- pected to complete the un- finished work. The high-toned importers. do. not actually tron Clothes, “They “rub them off,” or “press. them,” turning them out of the kitchen and out of the way as fast as possible. The only comfortable way of doing laundry work is that suggested by the silence of the ones in authority. Hire one of the importers of the latest style of “zwvash- i ond Enin’, most and on the days that she is engaged in her mystical rites flee the kitchen as you would a pesti- lence Stay up stairs and in fear and trembling sew up voles in your husband's eping articles, T'H never act again until The house my expectations fill!" “Twas thus Belshazzar Bolingbroke, His long hair flying as he spoke, Relieved himself when first we met, But five years later his tenet On things theatrical was less Dogmatic, and his own success A thing of promise when his voice Was lifted: “1 in truth rejpice That melodrama, farce and fake Will soon their own quietus make. Soon Hamlet, Spartacus, Macheth, And their great ilk, who figure death ‘And moods majestic will come foru And Tragedy will have new biri At last, perhaps a year ago, Belshazzar left his long limbo, And started as a star to teach ‘That tragic art was within reach. To-daysupon the Rialto I met him once again, and lo! He jooked much like a fashion plate. His hair was cropped ; he was elate. * And this is Tragedy!" quoth 1 At first I thought that he would die With laughter. Traged ‘ay; by my wealth, ‘tis Comedy !" Upon his card 1 quickly glance said he— And sce: "The King of Song and Dance.” JA w stockings, and fasten the buttons on your husband's shirts that the style importer wrung off and twisted off the week before. Or sit down and write plain, practical articles on laundry and kitchen A FOURTH OF JULY CELEBRATION. * Hit do seem won'ful dat dem inyuns doan’ sho’ signs ob risin’ out of de yearth ! work, that the minds of young housekeepers may be put to confusion, and that you may wring shekels from confiding. edi- tors to repay the ravages the style importer is making unnoticed and unrebuked in your kitchen. A SUNDAY REBUKING PARTY. On Sunday afternoon, Minister—Do my eyes deceive me or is that a ball game in progress over in that field 2” Sexton—“It's a ball game, sir. Minister — Don't. you think I ought to go over and rebuke them with my pres- ence? Sexton—* They are the best clubs in the village, Mr. ‘Thumper. Minister We will gether.” “Come on! rebuke them to- IT TIRED HIM OUT. Chicago wife —"Why. what ails you, Charles? You seem all out of breath and totally exhausted.” Chicago husband —\— am. Ihave —just—been— spanking—Bertie—with—one of—your—slippers.” ONE CHANCE FOR IT. Von Baboony—"\ wor der, barber, if I can do an’ thing with this moustache.” Barber —* Why, certain- sir. You might shave off.” comicbooks.com