Judge — June 30, 1888 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE [ Ntheoldentime th to the memory of the oldest. inhabit- ant—his feats of marksmanship were worthy of Buffalo Bill or the hero of a Bowery shooting- gallery. But at present he is out of the business. ‘That is, he talks, but never shoots. In the olden time he shot deer, and tigers, wild-cats, sea-gulls and -backs, but now he counts his pigeons, made of clay, at the rifle-range in the cellar. In other words, he is not what he is cracked up to be. In the olden time it was said of him that he shot at a row of sparrows on a fence, that he hit the first and killed the lot, the ball going clean through on a horizontal line. But in time sacred geese, and canv those days he was a Long Island editor, and he started the story himself asa foil toa brother journalist who grabbed a sea-serpent copy of a French paper with him in the morning, because he does not understand the language. What he has not shot is not worth the bagging. gun he uses, but he’s a very smooth-bore himself, greasy as the jokes of our este he'll rank with an over-drawn bank account or As you cannot kill him it is hardly worth while saying anything more about him. ‘To-day he carries a gun, just as my neigh- bor carries a 1 know not what He's as yrim and med contempo a well-oiled liar reporter, SHE'S PRETTY THANK YOU. LITTLE LYDIA LANGUISH, who is spending her first term at Madame Basbleu’s select seminary, has 1 only father and sits down to answer it. She writes WELL, ved a letter from her Roce Howe, He Your /onedy letter has just tufly room, right under that old hori I tell you, dear old stupid? Mastication of late has been perfor tly splendid, and deghutit ished with com: parative ease, Grestatory phenomena have been pleasant, and unproductive of beneficial results. Cardiac action has been normal, but circulation brisk during the music sn Hat, Saturday Morning, 1888, My brakest, swaeresr obo Pars and I hasten to answer it KiGiY know how fam und so ye. You want to Boarswats or rime Canara What'll 1 do with this second-hand coal-tar, sir?” Or the weather going to be t OF THK DECK Mx. Mostivex * Heave it overboard ! Mas. Mowtivex (going over)—"* Well, William, what's lessins to. Signor Staccato, The compounds found on the table have been readily as similated, especially the pep- tonized hash, So have my candied Chemical mental effects) has been rapid. At dinner infusions of yester. day's roti have, able extent, taken the place of tissue Jost in respiration and muscular employment. Hy drocarbons and farinaceous compounds, together with a saccharine variety in the shape of elegant caramels, just tov eet for anyt (don't have formed the basis Small preserved and der an edifying diet. cucumbers, acidulated in an alcobol ivative, have supplemented these A quickened pulse has been coincident with the ar rival of your letters, To letters L ascribe proper dissimilar PAINFULLY INDEFINITE, SvstraTHeTic maxso—" What ! sorry to hear that. Hard luck. “Yes, it is. I'm tired of ter, of something, soon.”* such letters perfec our wife no be ly hateful! w there! absence is followed by violent ebral disturbance and agi: tation of the lachrymal ducts. J hope she'll get 1am contemplating increased consumption of midnight oil, so please send me $11 Yours for health, P.S.-With H's and K's. tones 4" She yor $15. THE SMALL BOY’S PRAYER. When to the dusty v ied my father's voice Oh, may my frame receive no chastening blow To be remembered when quite olf I grow. THE DOCTOR'S VE Ethel (to the family physiciany—~ Why think that powder hurts the complexion Dr. Gruff" Well, no; some kinds don’t.” hel—" Oh, please tell me which kind is the best, and I pron will use no other.” Dr. Grugf— Baking powder DIC! doctor! you really don take internally.” HORROR. (peaking very thickly) ss-southwestsh day" “Tt looks a ttle black off to the swan” Aye, aye, sir.” comicbooks.com