Judge — June 30, 1888 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE NO ROSE WITHOUT A THORN. OLLY'S got'an Empire gown, all absinthe green and pink, ‘And an opera cloalt to euatch it full and long : And as ahe wraps herself ia it, some way 1 always thiok Of that tender, lovely old Scotch song— * My love is like a red, red rose That's newly sprung in June: My love is like a melody That's sweetly played im tan Hut sometimes as it happens when she’s annoyed by fate, Say—the carriage isn’t ordered just on time, She bursts a butten of her glove, or her bouquet’s tov late— Then to myself I think this little rhyme * "There's music of a certain kind Within a shrill tin horn; Aud asa general thing you'll find No rose without a thorn.” RDITH SuSSIONS TUPPER, PRAISE FROM THE HEART. Cohen (at dinner)—" How you like dot wine, Jonas?” Locwenstein—" Ach, mein freund: peautiful! It shoost sparkles in de sun-lighd ofer dhere like de three balls at the front door.” A BOY OF THE PERIOD. Oco sronr (to stranger}—" Talk about catching ! there isn't a man on the diamond that can do what I'vedone in that line. Why, I've stood behind the bat a-taking in twirlers that would kill ordinary men.” A moment later a terrific foul enters the grand-stand, Swart cov—" Come back, fellys! I got her.” UNDOUBTEDLY. s was yesterday delivered of the following aphorism, rranted his latest : When I wake in the morning and find it cloudy, | know that in case it rains we shall not have fine weather.” BUZZ “SAWS. Envy has a good memory. The lucky man can laugh at envy. The early bird often flies over the worm, The jovial clerk often becomes a surly boss. cess demands a large apprenticeship fec. \e are apt to underestimate what is beyond us. The most pleasant men seldom keep their promises. Confidence is a great thing even to the incompetent. man can’t hang a curtain before his own conscience. is not how much we can lift but how much we can carry hon home [bat a man fails in business doesn’t prove that he had a bad stand the man who is willing to take whatever is offered is seldom Satistied gs AEE aa ON THE MARBLEHEAD ROCKS. What name did the Abbots decide on for their new yacht?" Mx. Beantnicn—" They call her the “To-morrow,” I believe.” Mus, Beaot What an awfully slow name!” . Mx. Beavieicn— Ves, but it harmonizes beautifully with the way she 1s being paid for.” A MODERN BOSTON PARTY. Boston mother— \s everything ready for the party ?” Boston daughter— Ves, mother. Mr. Ransom, the baker, has promised to have two barrels of beans here by 11 o'clock, and Mr. Van Sutphen has promised to be through with his Browning readings at 10.30. Mr. Sullivan will serve the brown bread.” Boston mother—"Ab, yes ; marquis of Queensberry rules, I suppose. THE PROGRESS OF REFINED TASTE. Houlihan (returning from work)—"Mother av Moses, Ki did yez fish up all that ould junk on the mantel-piece ?” Mrs. H.—" Ould junk, indade! Sure it’s me collection av antagues Oi'm agoin’ to have some stheyle about me if Oi do live in Haarlim !” ! phwere LOVE GROWS WITH TIME. Fond mother—" Vo you like babies, Mr. Crust Crusty—" Er—yes: when they're grown up. CONSIDERATE. Brown caught his serve E * You don’t mean to say, Jam t one day in his bed-room making his toilet. . that you are in the habit of doing Why, you are actually using my tooth-brush.” this ? “Yes, sir: but, please, sir, | was careful to wash it fi A THREAT. Exrnrsswacon paver (fo assistant who has been monkeying with the load-repe)—"* Look't here, Spavins! “f you don’t take care of der goods I'll git yer discharge, [heard somethin’ drog ‘off jest now! comicbooks.com