Judge — June 23, 1888 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE PROPOSAL. ITP WUZ risin’ ten, an’ think, sez 1 If I'm a goin’ ter pop ter night, TH hey ter hump myse'f an’ try Ter dress my langwige up in white. With thet I kinder hetched my cha'r A right smart closter up ter Nan, An’ hawked my th’oat o° sumthin’ thar Thet riz whenever 1 began. + It's purty middlin’ dry fer June,” Sez 1, a sorter foolishly so; an’ “thout it rains right soon The garden suss'll wilt,” sez she. “Oh, Nan!” sez 1, “no words kin tell How much I lose if “baccer fails!” An’ then I blessed myse'f a An’ wisht thet 1 wuz sj “1 wouldn't worry "1 wuz you," Sez she, an’ lookin’ up right squar’, I seed her eyes so roun’ an’ blue An’ sumthin’ else a shinin’ thar! T up an’ ketched her by the han’; Sez 1 plumb out— Ter take er leave—sshich Ye've got ter speak up p'intedly !" A FREAK OF ‘“ NATURE.” Jones takes a lively interest in his son's education, and endeav- ors to make the thorny road of knowledge as easy as possible. Me tar sik es jou Wibk gar bree He sometimes, however, feels himself “stumped” by certain Mn 2" Jest lool at dem feet of hisn. apparent inconsistencies in nature Rey'lar nigger feet like mine and yourn.” We know, my boy, that everything has been made with a wise purpose the other day to speak on some question of current interest. His figure was in the work of creation, but it always did puzzle me to understand why the — still imposing, and his gestures were appropriate, but his voice failed to reach best combs are made of tortoise-shell, when it is well-known that that the reporter's gallery. animal has no hair, and therefore cannot possibly use them.” “Poor fellow!" remarked one of the scribes sitting there; “he is like ean ancient clock that still marks the time but has grown too old to strik GONE BEFORE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN. — Jones had just buried his “sainted Maria.” Returning disconsolately A WARNING TO POETS. from the funeral, he was saluted by his housekeeper : Virgilius Scriblerus, whose poctical effusions adorn the inside pages of “Now, Mr. Jones, do sit down and have something to keep up your — the New York Weekly Grin, applies for lodyings. h. If you don’t eat how can you expect to be well? Here t've Motherly landlady —* Good gracious! can this be the little nd cooked your favorite dish for you—pigeon and pes Phineas Oateake | knew so long ago? How is everything up in Podunk ?" (And. Virgilius secretly vows that in the future he will wear his hair like a civilized man.) Pigeon and peas, indeed! how cruel of you, my good woman, to be thinking of what | like, when she, poor thing, is lying out there Ay : hy S - Jone! Just run around the corner | POLITE LITERATURE. and get me a dozen of oysters. Z % j s (meeting Von Baboon That was her favorite dish, coming out of a book-store with —_—- parcel under his arm)—" Why, this PURITY ABOVE ALL E is quite a surprise, Algy; 1 didn’t Ba (at Coney Island)— a - ~ know that you were of a literary Waiter, this beer is three-quarters A family portrait handed down to the Democracy by the past generation of Taromany tial turrer mind? foam + Vou Batomy—" Aw, you see Waiter— Yes, sit; but see how pure the foam is!” a fellaw’s got to follow the pwevailing ewaze, doncherknow, and so I've pa — oe chased some polite literature—the Elite Directory and a Book of Etiquette. “Come! you're the man to understand— Help me select a piece of land!" He bought, but all the land he ot HE SPOKE BEFORE HE THOUGHT. Had limit in a flowerpot Fond father (to bis boy who has just returned from a year's absence at school) —" Well, how did you get along with your art studies? Can you THE HARP THAT ONCE THROUGH TARA’S HALLS. draw well A once eloquent member of the house of representatives who had 1 Boy (absent mindedly)—" Draw well? Naw! Awful hard luck, Never re-elected to that body by his former constituents, a ‘ ¢ filled a Hush during the whole term, THE IMPROVISED WINDOW-CLEANER. comicbooks.com