Judge — June 9, 1888 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

VERY HIGH ART. ITTWAS at the Academy of Art A enitic, « ing. Decanted terms all learned by heart About a freehand drawing. We at our hearts felt envy gnawing, We knew just naught of freehand drawing. But Bilks, an impresario, Stood by, a ballet programme clawing, And said, " High art with us also Depends upon our free-leg drawing We blushed, our diffidence now thawing. For we had seen bis freeleg drawing. We would have said, But thought it rude, art with each Leans toward the nude.” AT THE FRONT. Mistress (of a retiring disposition) —* Now, Marie, when you go to the oh gallery be sure to look carefully in the show-case and see if : my picture on exhibition, It makes me shiver to think of the mul- tiudes that may have gazed at me during the last two weeks. (Four hours later) — Well, Marie? Vurie—* Madame’s portray was no in ze cass.” Vistress—" Oh, Lam so relieved! Do you know, I have fancied that I felt stcangers staring at me.” Varte—" Madame’s portray was at ze front, so beauferful, in what one call ze fram. Two dollah mark THOSE DEAR CHILDREN. Lirri® Burtnes (to Mr. Dudle, who always takes his dog calling with hin\— May we have Falo to play with a little while Me. DUDLx (sith some meisgivin Why, certainly. He's a little nervous, you know ; % yuu mustn't irntate him, will you?” A HAPPY DELIVERY. whley—" Our friend Jaggs, whom everybody thinks so dull, got off an awfully good joke last night.” Wiggéns—" Aw—I hope they're both doing as well as could be ex- THOUGHT HE SHOULD KNOW. Kertie— Pa, why is Volapuk called the universal language ?” /0 "Oh, don’t bother me with such questions. How do you suppose Vd know? “Why, pa, ain't you a Universalist ? NOT SO GRE Y of the day (to raw recruit on post) What would you do, sir, mboat were to come across the parade ground at night ? recruit (excitedly) —" I—I—Vd—" /.d. (ferociously) —" Answer me, sir!) What would you do innocently) ——" I'd bring the steamboat to a halt and advance the HORSE TALK (overheard by our special artist). No. oxk To S08, 1we Say, Mag, have you a buttonchook in yer pocket?” Lend me ity my shoe's coming off.” FOURTH WARD PHILOSOPHY. JES" case er feller goes aroun" singin’ “Johnny come off yer perch,” dat don’t say dat he don’t owe fer last month’s rent. When er feller wants ter lend yer some dust jest ‘cause he’s got it, don't yer never turn up yer smeller at him, Take all yer kin git. Dat's de way rich. =r bum on de road wid nothin’ inside of him ‘cept wot he was born wid is happier dan de feller wots behin’ de bars wid his hide stuffed full of chari- ties ‘n correction stew, Dat goes! Every newspaper man wot tells de troot all de times is boun’ ter see de last of dis country in er rag shop—dat's er poor house; yer know, It’s de feller wots allus writin’ ghos' stories dat wears sparks on his feelers. Don't go cround er takin’ off yer hat ‘n bowin’ ter er chump wot tells how his family riz in de world. Some of dat same family mebbe has riz about eight feet—on de end of er string, wid er cap over deyre mugs. When er feller wot's chasin’ a office ‘round de ward comes in ‘n chucks yer kid under de chin, dat gits him er vote; when he blows de gang off ter er picnic wid er lot er gravestone san'wiches ‘n flats er beer, dat gits him de office. When er duffer is skinnin’ aroun’ dis ward er kickin’ up cobble stones tryin’ ter git er livin’ 'n er little booze trown in, de people rolls deyre peepers upp’ards ‘n ses he’s er bum, but let dat same feller croak ‘n dey'll plant him in great style ‘n say dat he wus er good feller. Yer can bet yer next year's picnic pants dat de bible-banger wot spouts salvation ter er lot of starvin’ bums has got more ‘n salvation inside er him- self. But de man wot talks ter er tramp’s stomach ‘n sen’s him eroun’ ter hash up ‘m de feller wot gits er free pass ter kingdom come, Dat man never draws er blank in de lottery of religion. (About ten minutes later), t's my turn to kick him now, Bleth !* comicbooks.com aoe ce ee me tes