Judge, 1888-06-09 · page 3 of 16
Judge — June 9, 1888 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page contains multiple satirical sketches typical of late 19th-century American humor: **"A Physical Impossibility"** depicts St. Anthony arriving at heaven's gates, distressed to learn that angels must disrobe—contradicting his earthly understanding. The joke mocks Victorian prudishness by suggesting heaven itself enforces modesty, making nakedness seem absurd even to the recently deceased. **"The Autocrat of the Kitchen"** shows a mistress complaining to her servant Bridget about late breakfast dishes. Bridget's excuse—waiting for the mistress to finish reading the morning paper—satirizes the servant's clever deflection of blame, a common domestic comedy trope. **"Modern Devotion"** ridicules upper-class sentimentality: Mrs. De Pug mourns her dog "Fantine" with theatrical grief, while her daughter's scarlet fever recovery gets a dismissive "she got well." The satire targets excessive pet-mourning among wealthy women as vapid and performative. The page also includes "Buzz Saws"—brief philosophical quips—and literary commentary on James Russell Lowell's poetry. The illustrations use period-appropriate wood-engraving style typical of Judge magazine's visual humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A PHYSICAL IMPOSSIBILITY. Masti Mastic THE LAST ACT. St. Anthony (staggering back from the this? No raiment? than feathers. pearly gates)" Wewhat is Angels have always been pictured with other drapery sno lack of raiment, my friend, th of an earthly order, We find it a great bodily relie ment tw our tempers to drop the encumbrance ugh it is not nd such a Mposed on us on earth, but hich are still used as modes of punishment in hades. improve- For instance, women there must wear perpetually the embracive corset and the gyratory” bustle, while men are tormented by the boot that pincheth, the the tlesh, and the collar that guillotineth, Anthony, | think” (referring to ledger). St. Authony (uneasily) —" Ves ; my friends were kind enough to call me that on the fittle planet I've just reluctantly resigned control of, But do sou mean to say that / must—ah—disrobe ? Doorkeeper—" That order is heaven's first law.” M. dathony (snatching up his valise and hugging his clothes tightly anand him)—" Really, you know, it’s too much; | prefer to ge to a raimental ch that abradeth You will like the improvement, St “where ignorance ts bins y to be wise. BUZZ SAWS. Misfortune grasps at a bubble. We often win when we take the biggest risks, A shoe doesn’t always pinch in the same plare inder dog in a fight often has We may want to-morrow what we refuse today The man with a corn has no busi- Fess in it we le rowd, « turn in the lane comes when expect it, an may be said to make his money band over fist. is disagreeable always er than it is. Mus. Teswatr conspicuous » Ixsrrvcte re seldom so well: satisfied oe sain after it is made, Hi! there, Manthy ! Pat your feet WHAT DOES poem of S Dhe culturecurtaited intependen) {have thonght that perhaps the line has been misprinted and should read: The cultured curctaited Independents But why should he call them cur-tailed ? they were not in such GOVERNMENTAL ys (to his friend Roastem of the signal service) low, Wiggins, has got himself into nice pot of hot water!” JAME Can you tell me, JUDGE, what Mr, Lowell means when he speaks in his -between-the-leys attitude as to warrant the epithet, which now seems so appropriate. RUSSELI. MEAN? When the poem was written INFLEXIBILITY. “That young fel- Roastem—" Bey pardon, Boggs, but really there’s no such thing as heat. You should say, a nice pot of humidity.” THE Mistress NOT THAT KIND OF FENCE. ef fencing would er er make me less Tell hee yes, Bertha, if she builds it high enough. AUTOCRAT OF THE KITCHEN. “Tt scems to me, Bridget, that you're ve late in getting the breakfast dishes cleaned up. Bridget—" Indade, mum, whin Oi ave to wait for you to finish the marning paper before Oi can get it, what else can ye expe MODERN DEVOTION. Mrs, Friendly (sympathetically) “Lam so saddened to see you in this xarb of deep mourning, Yours was indeed @ heartrending loss.” Mrs, De Pug (pathetically ) “Ah, yes!) My precious Fantine died in these army after suffering tortures for three whole d frightful convulsions. left her cushion.” Mrs, “And your little daughter, who was so ill with scarlet-fever Urs, De Pu “Oh, she got wel s. from the most 1 never once Friendly (surprisedly ) (indifferently) — NATURE AND Read in an album, ~ Nature ple: foals are: ART. je only stupid. pe product of civil tien,” comicbooks.com