Judge — June 2, 1888 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN UNSUCCESSFUL DIALOGUE. Miss Jones: IT want you to en What a delightfully cozy litte nook this is, Colonel. ertain me with everything new.” Col, Smith (who is not a conversationalist)—* Well, ~er-k-km-er, you see I've -er—I tell you what let's do. one of those dialogues you sce in the satirical papers—we're pretty well arranged for it.” Miss Jones—* How entrancing! I'll be Mrs. Collingwood-Collington, and you Mr. Heik Ollarman, and we'll say something really scintillating and liant, and then tell about it afterwards,” Col, Smith—"Very well. By the way, if you'll move just a little so as to get the iridescence from those prisms off your shoulder it will be nicer, It gives you a sort of tattoed appearance, ‘That's better.” Miss Jones—" Now that you speak of it, it will add to the composition of the picture if you look a little less serious and stop fumbling your watch chain, Now let's begin.” Collingwood-Collington (suddenly materializing into Miss. Jones What a charming bit of a high te lack gave on — Colonel. if you are going to persist in staring at heaven through several feet of plaster and brick, I'm going to leave you. It is not fair to think up what It ought to be spontaneous.” Col. Smith— Now my dear Miss — er, Mrs. Collington, you've spoiled pletely! Thad something awfully sarcastic about ‘lacking’ something he tip of my tongue, but never mind ;—(nervously, for fear of another i memory) did you hear that Hoalstock had been asked to resign from his club Vrs. Collingwood-Collington— I thought he was one of the governors!" Mr. Hetk Ollarman (appearing from blank canvas)—" He is of the S erbockers, but the : club—I am speaking of is ane he appeared with at h of the Holy Incantation on It frightened the children so that the wardens petitioned him to Now Let's ha © going to say ne— the chur: Jones—* Colonel Smith, stock is my cousin, and 1 y gentlemanly for you to cot on his taste in personal ment!” Mr. He Col. Suith—" But 1 thought this ply a society dialogue. Wiss Jones—" Why, so itis. 1 forgot. K CANCASSHM (Lo merchant) I'm going to say Be A GREAT INDUCEMENT. x “This yer is a cycloperdur like wot Cleveland used. No Mr, Hetk Ollarman (emerging 3 Miss Jones— please.” Spare me, won't you?” That is just what 1 was going to do. Take me to mama, TRAVELER. per, coming to his friend’s berth at 11 T hope you're not ill 7” A FASTIDIOUS Boggs (on board Pullman sk AM) at up yet, Jagley ! Jagley (desnairingly)—" 1 cawn't leave this berth, deah boy, till the end of the usip. ap blew off on the pwairie lawst night, and 1 should pewish with shame to be seen on the twain bare-headed.” My twaveling: It takes the great To make And yet ‘They're called, HE HAD A GOOD NECK. Leader of the wol—* Waal him up, boys. more hor Geuth Methe-ropesaroundehisencck (alter bai —" Boys, let up, will you? This rope tickles my thro: minutes more)—Say, boys, quit yer foolit for supper now. We'll see if he'll steal any ate ng ten minutes) (After hangin, . will yer? I'm half an hour late BEYOND OUR CAPACITY. So Mr. McAllister says we have only four hundred people in New That seems very few ina population of two millions.” Mr, Loftitene—" Ww does, Still, we have much to be thankful for, Onk how it pntained four hundred Me- York. society would be if our two THE PARLOR'’S FUL [ SAME sn tate that 5 Which fact put all my hopes to f a pull “The parloe’s y night, The front-done bell 2 sav “Is Miss Smith The maid, she winked Which T perceive J hid her face, feft the place ; 11 man was there, Md swear, Girls some Fve been with one when One young man more seated on the ver Upon the margin of ny just as mean as I can think man never knows cnough of nothing; but if he buys this buok he will pronunciate an’ gram. Have one, boss" My larnin’s a sample of its effects on a once ignorant man. I've | = “Is Miss Jones in? comicbooks.com