Judge — May 26, 1888 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TOMMY. HE wuz the cutes'leetle one Ye ever sot yer eye upun; An’ we-all jedged no gel-folks’ name “Ud do fer her, an’ thet’s how came We call't her Thomas Jefferson ! The boy-name ‘peared ter make her thrive; She wuzn't more'n four er five "Fore she cud skin up any tree An’ hang head downwuds, untel we Erlowed she'd not come down erlive. She bruk a colt w'en she wuz nine, Withouten ary so’t 0" line ; An’ rid a hoss thet kilt two men Wren she wuz risin’ onter ten— Agin her maw’s comman’s an’ mine. She wouldn't fade no boss'n! ef We talked at her, we was'ed breaf; ‘She'd sass us back right sperited, An’ weall never got ahead O* her, ye better tell yerse"f! An’ beaux !—w’'en she wuz fifteen year, Two of ‘em fit a jewel hyere In Breathitt on ercount 0° her! She hed her pranks an’ liked ter stir Folks up, an’ see “em rant an’ tear. She run erway ter Aberdeen W'en she wuz nigh-erbout sizteen, Wath Bud Delow, an’ tuk my gun ot me, ef I ‘lowed ter run her back "om Gretny Green! An’ then I felt so tarnal proud, I said ter maw thet T erlowed Tt takes Kentucky fer ter raise Upgels thet hev sech sprightly ways Ex thet thar Tom 0° ourn showed ! EVA WILDER MCGLASON. HAD TO HAVE PROTECTION. He had been explaining to her why the base-ball catcher wore a ma! “Does the umpire wear one to protect him from the ball, too? asked. “No; from the mob,” HE WAS SATISFIED. A young married couple. “You don't mean to say, darling Alice, that you would take up our entire honeymoon with this trip?” “Certainly not; Sew York, especially in the spring.”* “ Well, then, dearest, I'll go alone.” 1 adore You ask me, with an anxious brow, “Ab! will you love me then as now?" Let not in your fond heart appear A doubt, to cause you fear or tear. T do not love you now, so vow, Of course, I'll love you then as now, Drar op Aust Seconds! believe Harnier (who is always doing something wrong)—" Why, my dear Mrs T haven't seen you for an age. And how your little boy has grown! I can hardly AIRING HIS LEARNING. “No, sah, T don’ wan’ no round trip ticket ; you think I got time to tek a circular ride over de country?” MORE THAN ONE ESCAPED. Thimblewit— Vaas, Gagley, 1 know they're baggy, but where on this side of heaven can one escape the infliction?” “ You might emigrate and join a Highland regiment.” Gagl Some deem it quite an honor just to be One of the “first settlers" in the town: ‘The best first settler, though, it seems to me, Is he that pays cash down. A DOMESTIC TRAGEDY. “Mrs, C—.” said Anthony, * it will be necessa retain that divorce coupon. I never would have bel could commit such an impropriety—never.” “Good heavens! What do you mean? What have I done?" “Madam! Gaze upon this babe! He has come into the world as nude as the scandalous Venus of Milo in her native gallery. y for me to cut off and ved that a wife of mine ON THE AVENUE. Mas, Srconps (that was—/reezingly)—" Mrs. Culbertson, permit me to introduce my hus band, Mr. Cuddly. Charming day, isn't 1? Good-bye!" comicbooks.com